DEATH AND DYING AND LIFE

This morning our Unitarian Universalist Lead Interim Minister Don Rollins and our Assistant Minister John Saxon gave an extremely thought provoking and emotional sermon. The title of the sermon was Death and Dying for the Uninitiated. The tears began with the opening hymn entitled Just as Long as I have Breath. The words to this hymn are as follows: 


1. Just as long as I have breath, I must answer, "Yes", to life, though with pain I made my way, still with I meet each day. If they ask what I did well, tell them I said, "Yes", to life.
2. Just as long as vision lasts, I must answer, "Yes", to truth; in my dream and in my dark, always: that elusive spark. If they ask what I did well, tell them I said, "Yes," to truth.
3. Just as long as my heart beats, I must answer, "Yes" to love; disappointment pierced me through, still I kept on loving you. If they ask what I did best, tell them I said, "Yes" to love.


As we sang these lyrics my mind went off in different directions and different thought processes. The one that really rang out for me was my Mom and our estrangement from one another and the whole shortness of life and the things that REALLY and TRULY matter in my life and how do I or can I make them "right" or are they just what they are for now.


Later in the service we did our Meditations, Prayers and Reflections. During the time of Reflections Rev Don asked us to call out the names of those folks that had died that we were close to. I called out my Uncle Chuck and Lucky LU...hay, she was my baby girl. 

Also during this time I thought about my Mom and how we use to be. There were times that we would sit for hours on the gazebo and talk about life and things that mattered to us. Then I thought what happened to us? How did we get to this point? Life happened. The more time I spent away from my folks the more I began to think of my childhood and certain circumstances that happened to me at the hands of my step father. Things that I needed to talk about with my mom that she didn't want to hear or that she just wasn't ready to hear. Perhaps she will be ready to talk about them some day and when that day comes I will be there and ready to talk about them with her.

The other thing that came out of our service this morning was all the differences we have with one another.  Everyone has something goin on in their lives. My causes aren't everyone's causes. I tend to forget that. What kind of friend am I to others when all I do is think about what is going on with me, my family life and my "tribe". The anti LGBT/Family amendment is weighing heavy on my mind and my heart right now and is consuming my every other thought. The Republican Politicians and their craziness is also freaking me out a bit...

So somehow I get lost in my own stuff and seem to loose sight of what is going on in other parts of the my life and my world. Suffering of some friends and other family members. Yes we all have our own stuff. But we shouldn't loose sight of others' stuff.

As the song says Say YES to Life, Truth and Love. 


These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

THE FACES OF CANCER

While at my oncologist appointment the other day I was noticing, for the first time, the many faces of cancer. My oncologist was running about an hour and a half behind and Eileen, her PA was out sick. So while Kathy and I were waiting I was noticing the many faces of the people that were there waiting to see their oncologist or the family and/or friends of the people waiting with them.

There were people of ALL ages, classes and color. While people watching I overheard the many faces talking about their lives and what their plans were after their visit was done. Cancer is non-discriminating about who it infects. 

So many times I will think back on my visits to my Oncologist and I realize how much more relaxed I am now than I was in the early days of my cancer. I guess I have become more accepting and more along the lines of okay what to do next, if there is something to do.

Life goes on and on no matter what. Our household now has a motto and that motto is "It's All Good No Matter What".   

These are my Thoughts and Feelings from Jillesville.

I DO MEANS I WILL

 As most of you know my wife Kathy and I are taking care of her mother Nancy aka Mutti. At this time she is in severe Alzheimer's Disease. At times it is not easy for either one of us. Kathy carries the brunt of it herself because I am at work during the day for the week. 

During this time I am reminded of our wedding vows. These vows mean something to both of us. We don't take them for granted or think of them as frivolous we actually take them seriously and live by them. They're not just words that we spoke in front of our minister, family and friends. 

OUR VOWS are as follows:

I pledge to talk to you, to work out our differences, to listen with my mind and heart, to share my joys and fears, to love you into the unknowable future with spirit, laughter and grace.

Last night we put our vows to the "test" so to speak. Kathy had a hard and emotional talk with Muttis significant other Jack last night. When she came home she was emotionally drained and physically exhausted. She shared her thoughts and feelings with me and I listened and was there for her. 

Marriage is not easy. It takes work, communication, commitment and love. With this amendment vote coming up May 8th it is important that people remember exactly what marriage is about and stop with this religious based bigotry and VOTE AGAINST this amendment. Don't put religion in this voting process. Separation of CHURCH and STATE!

Kathy and I will continue to care for her mom and we will continue to stay close with each other and LOVE each other through this time because that is what marriage is all about!

 These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.