RESENTMENT + PRAYER = RELIEF

In the program of Alcoholics Anonymous we have what is known as The Resentment Prayer. This prayer is used when you feel that you have wronged by someone or if you have a grudge against someone that has built up to a resentment. You simply pray for their Health, Happiness and Prosperity. No matter how much you don't mean it in the beginning, after a week or so you begin to be believe it and then the resentment, hurt and pain is gone for that person.

The reason I am bringing this up is because yesterday, a good friend of mine came by the house to bring us some really good peaches that she got from the farmers market. We sat down on the glider on the front porch and began to talk.

She asked me about my mom and how the situation between us was going. I told her that she had sent me a certified letter saying that she was no longer my mother and she no longer had a daughter along with some other hurtful things. To this my friend asked if I had said The Resentment Prayer? I replied No because I didn't even think about it. All these years of estrangement from my mom, I never once thought about saying The Resentment Prayer. I began saying The Resentment Prayer yesterday after we spoke and already I feel the difference. The weight on my shoulders seems to be lifting a bit.

This blog is not about downing my mother, I love her and would never intentionally disrespect her. This blog is about living a more serene and peaceful life. It's about not allowing people, places or situations to get you down.

I have spent way too much time blaming myself for my mothers behavior towards me. The time is now to look at this situation from a different perspective, one of a woman to woman rather than a child to mother.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

DOWN BUT CERTAINLY NOT OUT

For the last few months I have been in the throes of a really bad crohn's disease flare up. My crohns doc put me on massive dosages of two different types of antibiotics at the same time. Could not go to work. Went out on FMLA. We were living on Kathy's retirement during this time. Let me tell you, I was down but certainly not out.

They're many reasons why I was down but certainly not out. The down part was true. The antibiotics had me physically down, not emotionally down. The reason that I was not out is simple, my wife, critters, family and my true friends. Those friends who love and care about me no matter what.

I have always believed that the richest person, is the one that has true friends. I've always known that the few friends that I have in my circle are true. Every single one of them have done something to help me out during this hard time. They have come over and mowed or worked out in the yard a couple of them planted trees in my back 40. All this has endeared them to me even more than they already were.

Those that didn't do physical stuff did personal stuff for me. Which is just the same in my mind. We have a couple of dear friends that took Kathy and I out to eat on the nights that I felt up to it. It was so important to me to be able to get out of the house and spend time socializing. The added bonus was that it was with them. Also friends would call, text, email, tweet and Facebook me. That did my heart good.

This crohns journey flare up is coming to an end for now. It will be great to see the crew at work, where I have a few of those true friends. My body is healing in many ways. Love is stronger than antibiotics. Well maybe a combination of both.:-)

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

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