Mutti

I entitled this blog post Mutti because that's who I want to talk about.  Whenever I write a blog post I never know which way it's going to go because it is from my heart...so here we go..

The Mutti that I am going to write about is the woman who lived life to the fullest not the woman dying from Alzheimer's disease in our front room in her hospital bed. She is one of the best people I know and I have been blessed to have her in my life.

My mother in law Nancy, whom I affectionately call Mutti (mommy in German) is in her final stages of Alzheimer's. Still she has a spirit about her and always has since I have known her over 13 years ago.

My first date with Kathy we went to a play. Mutti and Kathy's sister Barb met us there. I don't remember what play or where. Years later Kathy told me that her Mom asked her if I ever talked. Boy have I since made up for that.

Playing board games is a huge part of the Bundy family. Mutti was the best board player ever. She would make a move that would crush you all the while she would have her sheepish grin on her face and a twinkle in her eye as she did it. One of the many things that I've loved about her.

Christmas is a big holiday for the Bundy's. They have Advent readings from the book The Christmas Carol. This ritual takes place the first Sunday after Thanksgiving and continues through Christmas Eve.
They have a big green wreath that has 5 candles within the center of the wreath. They light the center candle then each candle as they read the staves from the book. The snacks include tapioca pudding, chex mix and popcorn. Mutti would  fill her bowl with tapioca and scrape the bottom for every single bit of pudding. I remember always thinking, I wonder if any of the dish remnants would be scooped up by her spoon.

If a baby ever crossed Muttis path you could count on her heading over to the mother and begin a conversation with her and before you knew it Mutti would be holding the baby and still talking with the mother. Mutti seemed to be a people magnate. She loved meeting people and talking with them. Her gentle kind face seemed to put folks at ease. It never failed if we were standing in a line she would begin a conversation with a stranger who became a friend.

When we would go to her house in Louisburg for birthday parties or whatever the occasion it would become such a special place and time for each of us. The spiritual feeling that I always got from being there was fantastic. These memories will always be with me.

Muttis laughter, joy for life, humor and love will always be in my heart and mind. I have been blessed to have her in my life.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE

A couple days ago I had some minor surgery done at the clinic where I work. The team that I chose to be in there with me are folks that I work with everyday this includes the surgeon and the anesthesiologist. I felt safe with them just as I would with any of my teammates. I feel both blessed and loved where I work by the people that I work with.

Some people think money is the answer to happiness and that probably is true to a certain extent for many. But for me it's not the answer for my total and complete happiness; family, friends and love are all I need to get by in this life. If I didn't have the loving network of the special people that I have in my life I would feel so empty inside. Each day my network gets deeper with feelings and certainties of a fulfillment that only these special people can fill in my heart.

As my wife Kathy and I sat in my cubby waiting for my team to come fetch me for my surgery, we had many folks come by my cubby to say hi and give me and Kathy much needed hugs. That to me is priceless.

Money is not a bad thing to have please don't misunderstand me. One cannot live on love alone but at the same time one cannot live on money alone either. Another old saying is you cant buy true and sincere love.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

WHY MUST IT BE THIS WAY?

I live in North Carolina with my wife Kathy. We were legally married in Canada 4 years ago. Yet our legal marriage is not recognized here in my home state of North Carolina. This is a southern state and the majority of folks here are bible thumpers of the wrong kind.

I will never understand their logic about same gender marriage being wrong and a sin. If that's the case in their hearts and mind then why do they care? It's our "sin" and our "wrong" let us deal with it. There problem solved right?

Apparently not because they keep harping on it. How would they feel if the situation was reversed and we were fighting  them on heterosexual marriage being wrong? What would give us that right?

If only these opponents would put themselves where we are. What if they couldn't marry the one person that they love simply because a majority of people said so. Where is the justice in that?!

This blog has come to life from a decision from the US Supreme Court to not rule on Same Gender marriage. With them doing this it kicked the issue back to the 4th circuit federal court and caused a stay because of a vote that put a discriminatory law in the NC constitution called Amendment One which bans same gender marriage in this state. Hopefully this ban will fall as others have in many states. We will find out soon enough.

Meanwhile my wife Kathy and I are living life as a married couple until we begin living our life together as a legally married couple here in North Carolina.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

LOOK FOR THE BEAUTY

This morning as I was looking out of my studio window I saw the beauty of the clouds the trees and nature outside of the window. For some folks if they were to look out of this same window they would see the darkness of the clouds instead of the light coming through the clouds, they would see the brown on some of the leaves instead of the green with the light coming through them, and as far as the nature outside they would say shut those damn birds up!

I see beauty and contentment in the eyes of my critters. The sad part is in some critters I see the pain and the anguish in their eyes. But at the same time I can also see hope in their eyes when their's meet with mine.

Life is full of twists and turns. Kathys mom Nancy, whom I affectionately call Mutti (Mommy in German), is going through a lot of twists and turns as are we while we journey through this Alzheimer's disease with her. There are times when she is smiling, talking(babbling), holding our hands. Then comes the twist and turn when there are no smiles, only yelling, don't forget holding hands. But one thing is constant the love that I see in her eyes no matter what her outside is doing.

Kathy and I have a beautiful relationship I feel in my heart. One reason is that we see the beauty in each other on the inside as well the out. The keys to our relationship in my mind and in my heart are that we love each other number one, number two, we communicate our needs with one another in a calm way, we call this our swing talks. I see many of my friends that don't have this in their relationship and it causes such turmoil.

I have the one friend that when she finishes talking with you she says "angels all around." That's pretty much how I live my life today with angels all around.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

MORNINGS WITH THE CRITTERS

The weekends are different than the weekdays. On the weekends I get to sleep in while Kathy gets up and feeds the critters. One of the perks of still working. Kathy is retired. That's not to say that she doesn't keep busy. It just means that she can sleep in on the weekdays.

Both dogs sleep on our bed. Which is another blog all together. Anyway, this morning began, as always, with Nanalu raising up and letting out a tiny half fast bark. This causes a chain reaction. Buddy raises his head and both dogs jump out of bed and out the dog door. Then not minutes later there is the sound of cat nails clicking on the wood floor toward our bedroom. It's Ramon. We call him our soldier cat. Because when he enters our room he starts to meow really loud. It reminds us of the bugle boy in the military waking up the troops.

This is Kathys cue to get up and begin the feeding of the critters. It usually begins with the dogs, then the cats, Mojo our parakeet, last but not least is our former feral cat Lucy. She now lives inside with us. That is another blog too.  This all usually begins at 6:30. I know that because the clock in our room chimes.

Meanwhile I am enjoying my sleep all by myself in our queen size bed. Then without warning Nanalu comes bouncing on the bed and stepping on my legs as she begins licking me all over my face. Of course Buddy can't stand Nanalu showing me such attention so up he comes stepping on my legs as he pushes Nanalu out of the way and begins his licking of my face. Once that's over and I am awake. The two of them begin to play on the bed together. It's at that time that I realize welp it's time to get up. The clock chimes 7:30. That's the weekend. Now for the weekdays.

During the week I get up and feed the critters before heading to work. The time is 5:30. I stumble out of bed and head to the bathroom to dress for work. All the while the dogs are still sleeping on the bed. When the bathroom door opens they jump down. I proceed to release my phone from the charger, turn on the phone flashlight and out of the bedroom. We are greeted by Ramon and Carlos outside of the bedroom door which I then close so as not to disturb Kathys sleep.

The feeding order is the same. Then it's my turn to eat and before you know it the clock chimes 6:30. Time to head to work. Before I leave the house the bedroom door is opened. As I exit the premises, lunch box in hand, the dogs wait patiently while I give them a treat then exit through the door jumping in my truck. While the garage door is opening I think to myself what a great life I have.

There you have it weekends and weekdays in Jillsville and at the Bundy-Kidd house.

These are my thoughts and feelings in Jillsville.

MY GOALS AND INTENTIONS FOR 2014

Kathy and I either sit up in bed or at the kitchen table writing out our goals and intentions for the new year. This New Year I thought I would write it out in my blog and share it so that I can be held accountable to all of you to follow through with my goals and intentions for 2014. Here is my list in order of importance to me:

1. Sobriety. I must stay sober because without my sobriety nothing else matters. It is the foundation of all my relationships and events that happened in my life. I will go to any lengths to stay sober.

2. Spouse. Being with Kathy has been one of the greatest gifts in my life.  Being there for her and supporting her is something that I want to do but most of all it is such a huge gift that I am able to do it and she allows me to be there for her.

3. Critters. My 4-legged kids are important to me. Showing them love and support is one of the joys in my life and I will continue to do that.

4. Health. I want to continue to eat healthy, thanks to my wife Kathy and her recipes, and avoid things that cause stress in my life. It would be really great if I did not have a Crohn's disease flare up this year. I want to work toward that goal and intention.

5. Forgiveness. It is important for my well being to forgive my mother for the pain and the hurt that she has caused me this past year. Also with this forgiveness comes detachment from her for my well being. I love my mother very much therefore detaching with love is the only way I can survive this and move on with my life.

6. Meditation. I'm going to read my meditation books every morning in 2014. Also I really want to take time out of my busy work day and do some meditation. Let myself and my mind be quiet, calm and relaxed for at least 15 minutes a day even longer if I can.

7. Fear. I have lived in physical fear my whole adult life. It is time for me to move away from that fear.

8. Creativity. Keep painting and writing my blog in 2014. My Painting is a huge stress reliever for me and I enjoy it tremendously. My wife Kathy encourages me to paint and write my blog. She is my inspiration and support.

9. Politics. As most of you know I am a progressive liberal, to say the least. This is the time for me to refrain from the back and forth banter with my conservative friends over politics. The political bumper stickers have come off my truck, well all except one that reads Turn off Fox News it is bad for America!

10. Coexist. I really want to try to be better person in so far as to Coexist with other people.  I am fairly good at it but I'm still not there where I would like to be with it. This country is a melting pot of all different kinds of cultures and I want to learn more about these cultures and these people.

So there you have it my goals and intentions for 2014.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.