Have you ever had an intense telephone conversation and wished that you had said more than you did? Yep. I had one of those on Saturday. It was with a family member who has disowned me. So many times I go over this in my mind. Trying to figure it all out. Why? What happened? What's the deal? Sometimes just maybe there is nothing to figure out.
With the New Year coming up I figured well, let me just give this another try. I was told during this conversation that with the New Year coming up let's not keep rehashing this same old stuff. Well, Okay then. Why do you keep doing this to yourself, you might ask? Well, family matters to me. My family of origin matters to me. But it seems that I am the only one that it matters to.
Life can turn on a dime. I like to get all my ducks in a row, so to speak. Apparently, no one in my immediate family of origin thinks that way. I am baffled by how someone that you have been there for during rough times can just say, I am so done with you, Get out of my life, You are no longer a part of me and of course, I am supposed to just say okay.
Things are tough enough in this life without family. I am fortunate I still have some members of my family of origin that I could not have made it through this without them. My Aunt Shirley is one of them. She has been my rock and my driving force. I am extremely fortunate to have a family of choice that I have come to love as much as anyone could. My wife Kathy, her family and my dear friends. I have so much love in my life.
Yet, I still have questions and wonderings of why....
These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.
