Jillsville's Rules For Driving

Driving in Jillsville is such an art of the highest magnitude. I have my own set of road rules and if you cross me LOOK OUT. That being said I am NOT one of those crazy road rage fanatics. Of course my wife Kathy would say differently.

To begin with driving on the beltline is NOT for the weak or faint of heart. Kathy for one HATES to drive on the beltline...I don't really mind. I travel this same route on the beltline every morning that I go to work. My idea is that some, no scratch that, most of those folks that drive this same route with me in the morning have NO glue how to drive on the beltline. First off there are 3 lanes. Now under my rules for beltline driving the right lane is for the drivers that go under the speed limit. Which by the way on the beltline is 60 mph. So that means that the right lane is for those that go either  60 mph or under. Now the middle lane are for those who go slightly above the speed limit or around 65 mph. The far left lane...Now this is where I have an issue...The far left lane or inside lane as some refer to it as...is for those like myself who want to go a bit faster.. say around 70 or 75 mph. Now what gripes my ass are those people that go 70 or 75 mph in the middle lane...and you know who you are! Now when Kathy is in the car with me I drive in the middle lane following my middle lane Jillsville rules. The first time that I drove Kathy in my car on the beltline we were dating at the time and I was in the left lane following my Jillsville rules...I wasn't sure that I was going to get her clasped hand from around the panic handle. So there you have it...

Now for parking in Jillsville. I always try to back into my parking space whenever I can do so. That way I can make a quick get away. Of course,  I am not sure what I am getting away from but there ya go...that is my Jillsville reasoning at work for ya. My comment when Kathy is in the car is always {you will thank me for this later}. Well this morning when we went to UU Fellowship I was beginning my backing into the parking space routine and causing a huge back up of traffic as I was trying to maneuver my vehicle into this tight space and as always I made the comment {you will thank me for this later} well this morning her reply was {you say that every time you do this and I have NEVER wanted to or will ever thank you for doing this}.  

Now once we came to a stop in this parking space the person seated in the back seat of the car parked next to us rolled down her window and said would you mind moving your car over a bit because I have a baby in here that I need more room in order to get him out of the car. So once again I started up my car and before I began to pulled up and over I had noticed that Mutti, Kathy's mother, had gotten out of the car and started to walk away so Kathy jumped out and crapped her hand and walked with her to get out of my way. Now my thoughts in my Jillsville head were...good thing I had backed in otherwise I would not have seen Mutti getting out of the car. Kathy's thoughts were much different...I could see it in her face...

Another Jillsville rule that I have is that when someone honks at me, no matter what the reason, I honk back and wave. Now this morning while on the beltline coming home from UU Fellowship we were traveling in the right lane because we were going to be exiting fairly soon to the right.  I was following all the Jillsville right lane rules at the time and when my exit came I turned on my signal and began the right lane exit when all of a sudden out of no where came this single HORN blow and this car passed us, driving at a speed that was not conducive to the Jillsville driving rules for the right lane I might add. So I simply honked once and waved as he passed. Kathy once again gave me THE LOOK and said now why did you do that? My answer was because he did it first.

Now the last Jillsville driving rule that I have is simply move over when there is in coming traffic  from the ramp onto the beltline. So many times when I am leaving my work or coming to work and entering the beltline there is a back up where the ramp meets the beltline simply because people aren't following the Jillsville rule of beltline ramp driving which is to MOVE over and let the traffic from the ramp come on the beltline.

Now if everyone followed these simple Jillsville driving rules life would be so much better for ME. Such is life in Jillsville.