Let me begin this blog post by saying that I don't consider myself to be a Christian. I do however, believe in G.O.D. ~ Good Orderly Direction. I also believe that there is a POWER greater than myself and do choose to call that power GOD. I think of myself as being on a questioning journey of sorts. Meaning that there are many parts and/or stories of the Bible that I question existed. It is only through what I have heard people talk about or that I have read in articles or online and going to a Christian church as a child that I have been on this questioning journey. I do believe that Jesus was a Saint who walked this earth many many centuries ago doing good deeds and helping people in need. He was also a man who didn't judge people or hurt them in any way, shape or form unlike some of the people who are calling themselves Christians in today's time.
Now with that being said...this brings me to the reason and or purpose of this blog today. These people who call themselves Christians, hence the name of this blog Christianity Lost, are always saying the Bible says this and the Bible says that, this is in relation to Amendment One. These CHERRY PICKED hurtful and harmful words are ammunition to hurt and possibly harm people and their doing this in GOD'S NAME.
Yesterday at work I was reading an article in the News and Observer. I don't have it in front of me right now and I don't remember the title of the article. I do remember it was about the SouthEastern Baptist Church meeting for those wanting Amendment One to pass. Within the article someone, I think it might have been the pastor, called those who oppose this amendment DEVILS. Now that hurt me down to my heart and soul. Now this person and I am sure many like this person who call themselves "Christians" probably feel the same way as this one person feels. These so called Christians they don't even know ME or those like ME who OPPOSE this Amendment. How can they in good conscious call us DEVILS simply because we disagree with them? Sure we call people who agree with these folks bigots because that is what they are. The definition of bigot is a person who is utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief or opinion.
Really, Seriously does it make me a DEVIL simply because I fell in love with and legally married someone who happens to be of the same sex as me and/or because I feel that people have the basic human right to love and legally marry someone of the same sex. The content of this article was extremely upsetting and so offensive and truly not what I consider the feelings of the Christian people of my past or the Christian people that I went to church with as a child.
This Amendment has caused so much anger and trepidation among ALL human beings of this great state of North Carolina. It has become scary for those who oppose this Amendment. Fanning the flames of this Amendment by those who are for it can and will cause harm to those who oppose it. The time is now to work together for the good of all. If this Amendment doesn't pass the only thing that will happen is people will live together in equality that is all. There will be NO burning bush and NO abrupt end of life. It will just simply enhance everyone's life. Some people simply cannot see that now because of their fear and anguish. Live and Let Live. It is the best way to Live.
One of the definitions of Christian is decent; respectable. How can it be decent and respectable to call people DEVILS who have differing opinions of yours? Come on all you Christians out there have FAITH that everything will be alright if this Amendment DOESN'T Pass. Where has your faith gone?!
These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.
During this journey that we call LIFE. We meet so many different kinds of people. Some good, some bad, some sweet, some sour and some are just not worth knowing and then there are some that are friends for life. I have had the honor of knowing someone that I call a friend for life. Her name is Sue. She is what southerners call a damn Yankee. I say that with love for her and knowing her as I do, if she were to read this she would laugh that ferocious laugh of hers and say damn RIGHT!
Sue and I hit it off from the get go. During our friendship we have laughed together, fought together over politics but no matter what we always considered eachother friends. We have known one another and worked together for 11 years now. Both of us share the Cancer gene. Me Breast Cancer Sue Ovarian Cancer. When Sue was first diagnosed with ovarian cancer we had only known eachother for a year. The first bout was bad. We weren't sure if she was going to make it but she did. She has been a constant soldier in the fight. Her cancer has come back 4 times and each time she has been a fighter and conquered this horrible disease only to have it come back just as strong. This time it is different. The cancer has ravaged her body. It has taken hold of her and Sue is just plain tuckered out. I said to her once that I wanted us to be honest with one another about our cancer when it flared up and we have been.
During our friendship Sue has come over to my home many times. She was there for my house warming and for my first lighting of the fireplace. We sat in front of the roaring fire drinking hot tea and just talked for hours. We talked about our past and our future. There was never a lull in any of our conversations that we shared. I made her laugh and she made me think about things of importance. I remember when I started dating Kathy she said to me Jill she is a keeper and she was so right as she has been about so many things. Sometimes she would come over and just sit in my serenity garden for hours when I wasn't home.
The Blue Ridge Family, where both Sue and I work collected money for flowers. Kathy picked them out. The arrangement is called The Butterfly Basket. Sue has always loved Butterflies. It was so appropriate. Kathy and I took them over to her. As we entered Sues room she was alone and sleeping. The room was dark with the curtains drawn slightly there was a stream of light coming from the window and such a peaceful feeling within the walls. The only sound was of Sue breathing as she was sleeping. Her feet uncovered and crossed with her signature teal colored toe nail polish would twitch as she breathed heavy at times. The IV morphine dripping that allowed Sue some relief from the pain. She would be snoozing then all of a sudden she would jerk. Her breathing was labored but yet gentle.
She has always been a go getter but now it looks as though the cancer has got her. I wish peace for my friend Sue. She has fought the good fight that is for sure. My hope for her is that she leaves this world as she lived it with honor. As Kathy and I left Sues room I touched my fingers to my lips and then toward Sue. It was my way of kissing her GoodBye and wishing my friend a peaceful journey to the next stage. Goodbye and much love and peace my friend Sue.
These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.
Sometimes I just want to SCREAM! This feeling of mine comes when I hear people {conservative politicians} and other people that say they want to "Preserve the sanctity of marriage" as they put in place a Constitutional Amendment in North Carolina that would make it impossible for ANY type of relationship status for same-sex couples in the future, if this amendment should pass in my home state it would be harmful to us and others like us along with children that are in these families beyond belief.
It is as though their marriage is the only marriage that matters. Well that is JUST simply NOT true. MY MARRIAGE MATTERS AND IT COUNTS! The old equation of Love + Commitment = Marriage is SO true no matter what the sex is of the two consenting adults.
Let me take a moment and tell you how my / our marriage and relationship with Kathy came about and what my/our marriage and relationship means to me. Kathy that is my legal wife of let me see it will be 2 years come July 24th of this year. However we have been together since May of 2002. We had our commitment ceremony in May of 2007 with family and friends present. It was a beautiful ceremony given by a pagan priest our friend Bob and our Unitarian Univeralist minister Tom. We were surrounded by beauty both in the faces of our family and friends and in our surroundings. Now our actual legal marriage ceremony took place in the beautiful place of Halifax Nova Scotia Canada. It was performed by our former Unitarian Universalist minister Julie and we were surrounded by family Kathy's son and daughter in law Andrew and Aury along with friends Chelsea and Heather and some friends that we just met from the UU church there in Halifax. We were outside by a beautiful water fountain in the Victorian Gardens. Our wedding reception took place on a float in the Pride Parade there in Halifax. It was a glorious day of LOVE and CELEBRATION. Those precious memories will be with me until the day I die.
Love and Commitment are what marriage is all about. Our love began as friendship. We met in an AA meeting. She was attracted to me from the start...her words not mine. I on the other hand was just coming out of a relationship that hurt me deeply. She was there for me as a good friend. We would go to what is called an eatin meetin. After the meeting we would go out with friends to K&W cafeteria. Kathy and I would be the last ones to leave because we would talk and talk for hours about all kinds of things. Then we began to see eachother outside of the meeting and we became close. We would do some flirting and touching. All harmless of course. *wink* *wink*.
One night Kathy had a womens potluck. After the potluck - as usual I was the last one to leave. We went out to her front porch and sat for a while and just talked. When I left there was a pause of sorts I wanted to say something to her but I just couldn't..lost my nerve you might say..Then as I walked across the street to get my car I looked back and she was still on the porch watching me as I left...Well I got in my car and drove off. We waved to one another but just then in that split second I guess you could say that my courage came to me in a strong wave I actually call this the "turning point" of our relationship because just then I turned my car around and went back to her house.
Well wouldn't you know it she was still standing there by the curb taking down a balloon that was on the mail box and I drove right up to that curb and said to her "Will you consider going out on a date with me?" Her reply to me was "Why don't you bring your chain saw {she had an old cherry tree that needed to come down} and have dinner with me here and we will see what happens." Well that was the beginning of our relationship and the beginning of the "honey dos."
It took us a long time before we moved in together. I would say about 3 years. We do things slowly unlike other lesbians who have the U-Haul on speed dial. *wink* *wink*. Our life together has been one of ups and downs just like other relationships. We were dating for about a month when we went to her son's wedding in Norfolk. Well on the trip there we realized there were some huge differences in our thought processes. We broke up about 3 months after we got home. I often refer to it as our hiatus from eachother.
Aury who came to my defense said to Kathy that I am a person who has a good heart and a person of loyalty. Both are very true. Also there was a friend of ours Ann who held both of us and tried to get us together to talk many many times. All of which I would decline. Because I wasn't ready to talk. That is my stubbornness that was showing through from my former relationship that ended horribly.
I did something with Kathy that I never did in any broken up relationship I let her go without reservation. Because I did love her like I had never loved anyone before. All this paid off in the end because we got back together within a month. She called me one day and said she was looking at buying a house and wondered if I wanted to meet her there. I said yes and while up stairs we began to kiss and hold eachother while the realtor was downstairs. Well one thing lead to another and we were back together again and have been together since. After about a year Kathy suggested that we see a therapist. So we did. A friend of ours suggested a therapist Andrea. She was a God send to us both. We have been seeing her since 2003.
So many things have happened during our relationship. I have serious health problems and Kathy takes such good care of me when I have flare ups. My Mom and I have become estranged and Kathy has been there to pick me up and help me through this time. Kathy's mom has moved in with us and together we take care of her. She has Alzheimer's and there are times that the struggle becomes tough but together we overcome them and our relationship and marriage gets stronger. Struggles have arisen that together we have been able to get through and have become stronger because of them. Our relationship and our marriage has been God given and extremely important to both of us. After we got married we went to an attorney and signed paperwork that makes us as legal as we can get. When heterosexuals marry they automatically have these same legal rights that it took us thousands of dollars to have. And even so we don't have ALL of the same legal rights. For instance we cannot collect social security after one of us dies. We cannot fill out a joint tax return and we cannot say that we are married on our taxes. There are many other such legal restrictions for us.
The reason for this blog is to show that we are NO different than anyone else. Our marriage is no different than anyone elses {namely those conservative republican politicians} it is one of sanctity and devotion. We both have grown so much both together as a committed couple and as individuals from our relationship and our marriage for the better. Kathy has taught me so much about seeing the world in a better light. Now I see things not as black or white but alot of gray area.
LOVE + COMMITMENT DOES = MARRIAGE if you are TWO CONSENTING ADULTS NO MATTER IF YOU ARE TWO LESBIAN'S , TWO GAY MEN, TWO OPPOSITE SEX PERSONS. {PERIOD}
Our marriage is respected by our friends and SOME family members and that is SO important to us both. This Amendment was proposed by a group of {conservative male politicians} who probably has NEVER met any homosexuals and who view us as sick and demented individuals. They don't even know us. We are human beings with feelings who have families and pay the same taxes as everyone else. We should be equal and have the same basic legal rights as they do. Let us make it happen VOTE AGAINST amendment one in May.
These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.
So often I hear all the discussion about how unfair healthcare is today. Moaning and groaning about how the insurance companies are unfair and taking all their money. Especially when I am at work. As most of you may or may not know I work in healthcare. It is so so funny to me everytime I hear Doctors complain about healthcare and President Obama since most of the ones that I work with are conservatives.
Especially since it is the conservatives that are the main ones wanting to repeal President Obama's health care initiatives.
We really and truly NEED a healthcare overhaul. It is crazy that so many people use the Emergency Room for their personal doctor appointments. Another crazy thing is when most of my friends are having to drop their insurance coverage because they cannot afford the rates. When is this going to end? I will tell you when this is going to end it will end when the politicians pay their own healthcare and get paid minimum rage and since I cannot see that happening this craziness may never end. When it comes down to it Canada has the right idea. I would MUCH rather pay higher taxes and get healthcare without question.
Realistically WE NEED HEALTHCARE REFORM without the politicians worrying about the HUGE kickback payments that they receive from insurance companies for their re-elections. President Obama has the right idea with his healthcare plan in my opinion. All these Politicians NEED to start caring about their constituents instead of caring about their own purse strings. This my friends is where WE come into the equation. OUR vote counts. Start paying attention to where your political party gets their money. Use nonpartison sights for your information. The BEST website is FactCheck.org.
When I put into my Bing search NonPartison sites these Two sites came up for me:
*Project Vote Smart in a nutshell is an organization that provides outstanding information on every current or prospective elected official and does what it can to inform the public about the respective person's entire history. Its research is exhaustive and its accuracy is never put into question. Project Vote Smart is one of the best nonpartisan sites on the web.
*Spot-On is armed with more than 10 witers, Spot On provides readers with viewpoints from BOTH sides of the aisle and allows its writers to say whatever they think. The content is individually liberal or individually conservative, but taken together, the site's vision is NONpartisan.
I constantly hear conservatives where I work and some friends of mine on Facebook bitchin and complaining about President Obama's insurance initiative...well all I can say is atleast he is trying to do something about this horrible healthcare we have here in the United States. It is broke folks and it is breaking us more and more everyday. Stop the Bitchin and Start the fixin.
These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.
