It is as though their marriage is the only marriage that matters. Well that is JUST simply NOT true. MY MARRIAGE MATTERS AND IT COUNTS! The old equation of Love + Commitment = Marriage is SO true no matter what the sex is of the two consenting adults.
Let me take a moment and tell you how my / our marriage and relationship with Kathy came about and what my/our marriage and relationship means to me. Kathy that is my legal wife of let me see it will be 2 years come July 24th of this year. However we have been together since May of 2002. We had our commitment ceremony in May of 2007 with family and friends present. It was a beautiful ceremony given by a pagan priest our friend Bob and our Unitarian Univeralist minister Tom. We were surrounded by beauty both in the faces of our family and friends and in our surroundings. Now our actual legal marriage ceremony took place in the beautiful place of Halifax Nova Scotia Canada. It was performed by our former Unitarian Universalist minister Julie and we were surrounded by family Kathy's son and daughter in law Andrew and Aury along with friends Chelsea and Heather and some friends that we just met from the UU church there in Halifax. We were outside by a beautiful water fountain in the Victorian Gardens. Our wedding reception took place on a float in the Pride Parade there in Halifax. It was a glorious day of LOVE and CELEBRATION. Those precious memories will be with me until the day I die.
Love and Commitment are what marriage is all about. Our love began as friendship. We met in an AA meeting. She was attracted to me from the start...her words not mine. I on the other hand was just coming out of a relationship that hurt me deeply. She was there for me as a good friend. We would go to what is called an eatin meetin. After the meeting we would go out with friends to K&W cafeteria. Kathy and I would be the last ones to leave because we would talk and talk for hours about all kinds of things. Then we began to see eachother outside of the meeting and we became close. We would do some flirting and touching. All harmless of course. *wink* *wink*.
One night Kathy had a womens potluck. After the potluck - as usual I was the last one to leave. We went out to her front porch and sat for a while and just talked. When I left there was a pause of sorts I wanted to say something to her but I just couldn't..lost my nerve you might say..Then as I walked across the street to get my car I looked back and she was still on the porch watching me as I left...Well I got in my car and drove off. We waved to one another but just then in that split second I guess you could say that my courage came to me in a strong wave I actually call this the "turning point" of our relationship because just then I turned my car around and went back to her house.
Well wouldn't you know it she was still standing there by the curb taking down a balloon that was on the mail box and I drove right up to that curb and said to her "Will you consider going out on a date with me?" Her reply to me was "Why don't you bring your chain saw {she had an old cherry tree that needed to come down} and have dinner with me here and we will see what happens." Well that was the beginning of our relationship and the beginning of the "honey dos."
It took us a long time before we moved in together. I would say about 3 years. We do things slowly unlike other lesbians who have the U-Haul on speed dial. *wink* *wink*. Our life together has been one of ups and downs just like other relationships. We were dating for about a month when we went to her son's wedding in Norfolk. Well on the trip there we realized there were some huge differences in our thought processes. We broke up about 3 months after we got home. I often refer to it as our hiatus from eachother.
Aury who came to my defense said to Kathy that I am a person who has a good heart and a person of loyalty. Both are very true. Also there was a friend of ours Ann who held both of us and tried to get us together to talk many many times. All of which I would decline. Because I wasn't ready to talk. That is my stubbornness that was showing through from my former relationship that ended horribly.
I did something with Kathy that I never did in any broken up relationship I let her go without reservation. Because I did love her like I had never loved anyone before. All this paid off in the end because we got back together within a month. She called me one day and said she was looking at buying a house and wondered if I wanted to meet her there. I said yes and while up stairs we began to kiss and hold eachother while the realtor was downstairs. Well one thing lead to another and we were back together again and have been together since. After about a year Kathy suggested that we see a therapist. So we did. A friend of ours suggested a therapist Andrea. She was a God send to us both. We have been seeing her since 2003.
So many things have happened during our relationship. I have serious health problems and Kathy takes such good care of me when I have flare ups. My Mom and I have become estranged and Kathy has been there to pick me up and help me through this time. Kathy's mom has moved in with us and together we take care of her. She has Alzheimer's and there are times that the struggle becomes tough but together we overcome them and our relationship and marriage gets stronger. Struggles have arisen that together we have been able to get through and have become stronger because of them. Our relationship and our marriage has been God given and extremely important to both of us. After we got married we went to an attorney and signed paperwork that makes us as legal as we can get. When heterosexuals marry they automatically have these same legal rights that it took us thousands of dollars to have. And even so we don't have ALL of the same legal rights. For instance we cannot collect social security after one of us dies. We cannot fill out a joint tax return and we cannot say that we are married on our taxes. There are many other such legal restrictions for us.
The reason for this blog is to show that we are NO different than anyone else. Our marriage is no different than anyone elses {namely those conservative republican politicians} it is one of sanctity and devotion. We both have grown so much both together as a committed couple and as individuals from our relationship and our marriage for the better. Kathy has taught me so much about seeing the world in a better light. Now I see things not as black or white but alot of gray area.
LOVE + COMMITMENT DOES = MARRIAGE if you are TWO CONSENTING ADULTS NO MATTER IF YOU ARE TWO LESBIAN'S , TWO GAY MEN, TWO OPPOSITE SEX PERSONS. {PERIOD}
Our marriage is respected by our friends and SOME family members and that is SO important to us both. This Amendment was proposed by a group of {conservative male politicians} who probably has NEVER met any homosexuals and who view us as sick and demented individuals. They don't even know us. We are human beings with feelings who have families and pay the same taxes as everyone else. We should be equal and have the same basic legal rights as they do. Let us make it happen VOTE AGAINST amendment one in May.
These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.
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