Life As I Know It In Jillsville: WHAT'S IMPORTANT?

While here at our little cabin in the mountains or as my wife Kathy and I refer to it our mountain getaway cabin, I have been able to do some soul searching and realize what's important is peace and love for one another. While we all have differing opinions the one basic truth is we are human beings and should be treated as such.

 Last night I read a blog that Kathy posted on facebook and it got me to thinking which is what blogs are suppose to do. It was written by a 32 year old man named Conor Gaughan. The title of the blog is We Are Not Arguing Over Chicken. It is in reference to all the craziness over the Chick-Fil-A's CEO's "Christian Values" or to put it more blunt and in Jillsville's terms lack there of. This man is anti gay and that is his right just as it is the right of anyone who feels that we are a threat to the "norm" or "traditional" ways of the American way.


The one thing that Conor Gaughan wrote in his blog that really stood out for and started me to really digging deep was the very first paragraph "Facebook can feel faceless sometimes. Over the last week, the site has seen a lot of conversations about Chick-Fil-A, often among total strangers able to shout at each other just because they happen to have a friend in common. It is worth remembering that behind each unfamiliar head shot or puppy pic is a real person. When you liter your friend's wall with vitriol about the idiocy of your interlocutors, you are talking about people not pixels." We meaning people/human beings have our beliefs and strong convictions Lord Knows I Sure Do and I have never been one to shy away from them or share them to anyone who wants to listen or even if they don't want to listen I will say them anyway because that is who I am. 

I had a good friend Charlene tell me once "Jill you are a very loyal person and that makes you a great friend to have." I said to her I always thought that I was a passionate person especially where equality comes in. She looked at me right in the eyes and said yea that to but your loyalty is what I admire most about you. So I guess that makes me a passionately loyal person to both my friends and to equality for all.

So when I hear about a company or companies that gives money and I mean millions of dollars to groups that are against everything that I stand for and everything that I believe in and have strong convictions about it makes me angry and this in turn makes me think What's Important?. Do I really care what these anti gay and delusional people think? Seriously I have a great life with a great wife and family that loves and supports me in every way. I also have terrific friends that stand by me and believe in me and most importantly love me for who and what I am. 

Now this being said please don't misunderstand I will continue to fight for what I believe in and that is  EVERYONE should be EQUAL and have the same RIGHTS. To me that is important and a must for all human beings. Only now I will do it with more peace and love inside and realize that we are all just people/human beings doing what we believe in. Yes that includes Republicans and Christians. ; )

I will end my blog with Conor's last paragraph of his blog because to me it sums up my blog and my feelings better than I can "Eat all the chicken sandwiches you want. But, realize that behind this debate are real people--kids like the girl in Kentucky who fear for their safety, women like Sally Ride's widow who are denied their spouse's Social Security benefits. Even if it doesn't seem like it, we want nothing more than to leave behind the angry debates on Facebook and on Capitol Hill. There are, after all, a lot of pictures of One Direction and grandkids we would rather be posting, sharing and liking." For us in the gay community it is about fear and right and wrong. To me what's important is PEACE AND LOVE of one another. In the words of Rodney King "Why can't we all just get along?"

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.
Peace Out! 


Here is the link to Conor Gaughan's blog: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/conor-gaughan/chick-fil-a-homophobia_b_1711566.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false#sb=1826579,b=facebook

CO-WORKERS/TEAMMATES

At the clinic where I work we employees are not called co-workers we are called teammates. There was a time when I would scoff everytime we were called teammates. It has taken me a while to understand why we are called teammates and why it fits.  It is because we are more than co-workers we work together like the teammates on an athletic ball team. We in the operating room are a well oiled machine. We all work together for the common good of the team and our patients.

In our clinics athletic ball team our supervisor is the one that positions the teammates and calls the plays. It is up to all of us to carry out the plays and we do with precision and fun. Yes we have fun at work with eachother and we respect eachother and are committed to doing what we do best and that is surgery. We are mix of people straight, gay, black, white, young and older and that is okay. This is the first place where I have worked that I feel comfortable being who I am and accepted, respected and not judged for who I love. We all have our jobs to do and we do them. The thing with us teammates is we know when to have fun and we know when to be serious. All of us are good at what we do and all of us are professional. 

Our Administrator takes her time when hiring people who will become future teammates. There are certain criteria that has to be met. The first and foremost is work ethic. The second is how well they will fit in with the crew that we already have. I must say so far so good. We have a really great team and in my opinion it is unbeatable.  It is the only place that I have worked where I feel good about being a part of the team.


Some of us also see eachother outside of work which makes us a family as well as teammates. We have one anothers backs no matter what happens in our lives. We genuinely care about eachother. That is the essence of us as teammates. We work hard and we play hard and we have fun at work because we do it together as a team.


I am a PROUD teammate and PROUD to be a part of the Blue Ridge Team.


These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

BABY'S BREATH

This morning while I was driving Mutti to Sarah Care I was listening to a CD that was given to me by two friends Michelle and Steven Reines they're also the ones singing on the CD. They wrote one song in particular on this CD that is called I Have Faith In You. This morning this song really touched me deeply and brought tears to my eyes. I think because my Granddad's birthday was the 3rd and my Mom's birthday is coming up on the 23rd of this month. This song is about the birth of their daughter Faith and the love and faith that they have in her. This morning while listening to this song it reminded me of my Mom and my Granddad and the love and faith that they shared with me. This blog is going to be about the love between a mother and daughter. My Mother and Me. Also my Granddad who always called me Pumpkin. I miss him and I miss my Mom. Not because my Mom has died but because my Mom seems to have fallen out of Love with me and it makes me sad. This song brought back memories of Mom and me. Also it reminded me of how much my Granddad loved me and gave me so much of his time and made me feel special.

Some of the lyrics to this song are {You came to me like a cherub on an angel's wing. I wasn't sure I could be what you needed but I am trying. Beautiful baby my child born into so much love feisty and wild and then you grabbed my hand and smiled and I was smitten. I fell in love at 4 o'clock in the morning. Precious little girl so sweet with long fingers and big feet just to be with you is a treat at any hour.} This brought back a memory of my Mom and I sitting at her kitchen table one morning and she telling me the story of my birth. She said that when they brought me in to her and laid me in her arms I was wrapped in a pink blanket and she said that I had a bit of black hair on my head already and she said that she touched my hands and feet just to make sure everything was there and she kissed me on my head, cheek and tummy then she whispered to me that she would try to be the best Mom she could be and she loved me so much and she always would and she said that she always wanted a little girl with brown eyes. She also said to me at her kitchen table that morning that I was in labor for 13 hours with you and we both laughed and she reached over to me and touched my hand then held it and said I Love You and you are so important to me. I will always remember that morning with her. I felt so close to her at that moment and it has stayed with me for a long time even now I remember that morning when I become really sad and feel the loss of us.

The ending of this song goes {And we have faith in you to do everything you intend to but if the darkness finds you let love remind you there is one thing you must do to have faith in yourself everyone loves you especially Granddad so lift your heart and remember all that you have.} This is what I have done since our estrangement from each other. When things seem dark for me I lift my heart and remember all that I have and I allow myself to feel the love that I remember from that morning at her kitchen table and I also remember the love that my Granddad had for me and the way he made me feel so special.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

Thank You Michelle and Steven Reines for writing this song and for sharing it with me and others.

YARD WORK AND SERENITY

People find serenity in so many different ways. Some find it in meditation, AA meetings, church, prayer or some other ways. I find my serenity working out in the yard. A friend once told me she enjoyed yard work because she liked the outcome of her work in the yard. I feel the same way and I enjoy yard work for the peace and tranquility that is all a part of serenity. It does my heart good to have an idea about the yard and then put it into action and have it come to fruition. Also planting a tree or bush and having it grow into something beautiful. I love seeing the birds flying through the trees or making a nest in the trees that I have planted. It's all about the nature of things for me. Here are some of the examples of my serenity work in the yard.


At one time we had a serenity garden in one corner of our yard that I put in. It was blocked off by lattice and beautiful wooden posts. It had a swing with a top on it and it had a butterfly bush and a beautiful yellow rose bush. I put one of those black small hard rubber ponds in the center of the serenity garden. I was planning on putting fish in the pond but ended up putting potted plants all along the inside of it. Kathy and I both sat in the swing and read our meditation books and drank our coffee. My friend Sue, God rest her soul, would come over and we would sit in the swing and talk about life. We would have friends over and each one of them would sit on that swing and chat with one another.  We no longer have the serenity garden because the swing finally gave out. We now have a compost in the pond with lattice surrounding it. All in all there are good memories belonging to the serenity garden.


A few years ago I went with a friend to a nursery and picked out a cork screw willow and planted it next to the gazebo at our deck. That cork screw willow brought us so much serenity and peace. It also grew higher than our house and it was beautiful. Over the years we had many birds nests and many birds flying through it or landing on limbs and singing.  Such a calmness and tranquility about all this. A couple of years ago we had a tornado here in Raleigh and the tornado went right over our house and took down the cord screw willow. It was a sad day for us but the root ball was still in one piece and the tree was still alive. So we decided to keep the fallen cork screw willow as long as possible. We had friends to bring different objects to place in the fallen cork screw willow. We put lights in the fallen cork screw willow. It was like an enchanted garden. The fallen cork screw willow slowly began to die a couple of weeks ago and the time came to cut up the fallen cork screw willow.  As I took the chain saw to it I said my goodbyes. I also saved some of the limbs and placed them in different places in the yard for the Budster to jump over. I also saved the root ball and the main body of the tree where it arches so the Budster can run under it or climb on it.


So now with the fallen cork screw willow gone there is so much more yard for me to work in and there are so many possibilities for me to put into action and make them come to fruition. A friend of ours gave us a couple of trees and a butterfly bush along with a mum to plant in our yard. That I did today. I also planted some grass seed where the fallen cork screw willow was. So you see my yard work and serenity are never ending for me because it does my heart, body and soul good to dig in the dirt and plant trees and bushes. This is all a part of my serenity and that will never change. All of us should have some way to have serenity. It is time to find what yours is and if you have found it make keep on doing whatever it is.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.