This morning while I was driving Mutti to Sarah Care I was listening to a CD that was given to me by two friends Michelle and Steven Reines they're also the ones singing on the CD. They wrote one song in particular on this CD that is called I Have Faith In You. This morning this song really touched me deeply and brought tears to my eyes. I think because my Granddad's birthday was the 3rd and my Mom's birthday is coming up on the 23rd of this month. This song is about the birth of their daughter Faith and the love and faith that they have in her. This morning while listening to this song it reminded me of my Mom and my Granddad and the love and faith that they shared with me. This blog is going to be about the love between a mother and daughter. My Mother and Me. Also my Granddad who always called me Pumpkin. I miss him and I miss my Mom. Not because my Mom has died but because my Mom seems to have fallen out of Love with me and it makes me sad. This song brought back memories of Mom and me. Also it reminded me of how much my Granddad loved me and gave me so much of his time and made me feel special.
Some of the lyrics to this song are {You came to me like a cherub on an angel's wing. I wasn't sure I could be what you needed but I am trying. Beautiful baby my child born into so much love feisty and wild and then you grabbed my hand and smiled and I was smitten. I fell in love at 4 o'clock in the morning. Precious little girl so sweet with long fingers and big feet just to be with you is a treat at any hour.} This brought back a memory of my Mom and I sitting at her kitchen table one morning and she telling me the story of my birth. She said that when they brought me in to her and laid me in her arms I was wrapped in a pink blanket and she said that I had a bit of black hair on my head already and she said that she touched my hands and feet just to make sure everything was there and she kissed me on my head, cheek and tummy then she whispered to me that she would try to be the best Mom she could be and she loved me so much and she always would and she said that she always wanted a little girl with brown eyes. She also said to me at her kitchen table that morning that I was in labor for 13 hours with you and we both laughed and she reached over to me and touched my hand then held it and said I Love You and you are so important to me. I will always remember that morning with her. I felt so close to her at that moment and it has stayed with me for a long time even now I remember that morning when I become really sad and feel the loss of us.
The ending of this song goes {And we have faith in you to do everything you intend to but if the darkness finds you let love remind you there is one thing you must do to have faith in yourself everyone loves you especially Granddad so lift your heart and remember all that you have.} This is what I have done since our estrangement from each other. When things seem dark for me I lift my heart and remember all that I have and I allow myself to feel the love that I remember from that morning at her kitchen table and I also remember the love that my Granddad had for me and the way he made me feel so special.
These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.
Thank You Michelle and Steven Reines for writing this song and for sharing it with me and others.
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