IT''S ALL IN HOW YOU ARE RAISED

This blog is about how you were raised and the political impact that your parents have on you as a child. For me I was raised in an extremely conservative town. My folks are still extremely conservative. My step-father thinks Rush Limbaugh is the best thing since peanut butter and jelly. My mom thought Sarah Palin was/is a bright and intelligent woman. So as much as I hate to admit it I myself was a Republican for many many years. In fact even more I hate to admit that YES I voted for George W. Bush first time around. Definitely not the second time around. Okay there I said it as much as I dislike and am totally embarrassed to write it and admit it I totally did that horrible thing.

Now growing up surrounded by conservatives that is all I heard. With my folks being conservative and alot of my family members being conservative, all I heard growing up was how great Republicans are and how much they care about our country and perhaps at that time all that was true. It is not so true today because of the Tea Party infiltration and all the obstruction going on within the Republican party. But getting back to the purpose of this blog. I grew up conservative just as my mother grew up being a Dixiecrat because my grandparents were both Dixiecrat's which I find out that is just as the old Republican party use to be back in the day. At any rate when my Mom became older she decided to become a Republican. She was even afraid to tell my Granddad of her decision because she knew he would be upset and he was for a while.

My change from Republican to Democrat came when I moved here to Raleigh, NC in 2001. It didn't happen overnight. It took a while to get that conservative "brainwash" out of my head. While in Raleigh I met a woman named Kathy Bundy my future wife. Now Kathy's family were and are all liberal democrats. So here you have a conservative hanging around with a bunch of liberal's. In fact I was all for the war at that time because I kept hearing from "home" about how good it was to defeat the man that bombed our buildings and how he was a threat to the United States of America! 

The change came for me around 2003 when I began listening to all sides of the political debate and I didn't have those voices from "home" tell me how great George W was. It became clear to me that the war was a total unnecessary evil and that George W. was a horrible disgrace to this country. Once that became clear to me I decided that I would register from Republican to Independent that way I wouldn't have a label. Well when I told my step-father about this he said I was riding the fence and of course I allowed him to push my buttons. The next day I went down to the voter registration and changed my affiliation to Democrat and I haven't had the desire to change it and will never change it! I became a liberal Democrat in 2004. I voted for John Kerry and never looked back. I have dug my claws into the Democratic party because I truly believe that it is the most inclusive party there is and I support this party will all of my heart.

Now the other point of this blog is how when you begin thinking for yourself things begin to change for you. The case in point are the two Granddaughters of Fred Phelps of Westboro Baptist Church who left the "church" which is really a cult. Megan Phelps-Roper 27 and her younger sister Grace Phelps-Roper. They left the cult in November and were "cut off" from their family members. They began to wonder about all this hate and phenom that their Grandfather was spewing about gays or as they say fags. They left this cult because they say that their views and beliefs have evolved and they regret any pain that they have caused other folks. I say good for them. In fact, Megan now is an advocate for equal rights. 

Ain't life grand when you live it for yourself and not to please others. 

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

VOWS ARE COMMITMENTS

Yesterday I was reminded of mine and Kathy's commitment vows that we took back on May 26, 2007. "I pledge to talk to you, to work out our differences, to listen with my mind and heart, to share my joys and fears, to love you into the unknowable future with spirit, laughter and grace." Also our wedding vows that we took back on July 24, 2010. " I Jill Kidd, take you Kathy Bundy to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part. Both of these vows contain words and meanings that I / We hold dear and true.

Here we are at our Commitment Ceremony

Here we are at our Wedding Ceremony with our former UU minister Julie.

Our commitment program read: "Kathy and Jill, the time has now come for you to create a covenant together. Such a covenant is not to be made lightly, for the words you speak here today will change your lives forever." This has held true for both of us all these years. Both Kathy and I take our vows and our commitment to one another seriously. We entered our lives together with this in mind. It takes commitment and work to achieve this and both of us are willing to do this together and apart. 

I was reminded of all this yesterday because my wife Kathy had a horrible case of vertigo. She could not even raise her head in bed. I didn't want to leave her to go to work but it was a necessity and at her insistence I did but not without calls from work to check in on her during the day. We both have good friends and family members who support our relationship. Luckily I have a supervisor that when I went into work I explained the situation to her and said that if Kathy were to call and need me I would be going home. She understood and gave me the okay to do so. We have much support and love for which we feel truly blessed.

At one point during the evening Kathy asked if I would mind going to the store and picking her up a few things that she wanted. She said I hate to ask you to do it. I looked at her eye to eye and said to her "How many times have you gone to the pharmacy for me when I was sick? Sometimes it would be 10 at night or sometimes midnight. At that she just looked at me and smiled as leaned down to her and kissed her gently on her lips. Then I walked out of the door list in hand and a smile on my face. 

I do realize that not everyone is "on board" with same-gender marriage. It seems that I have always felt that it was up to me to change minds until recently. I saw one of those photo's on facebook that said something to the gist of { I don't need YOUR approval for my marriage. I just need the law to change.}. It shouldn't be labeled same-gender marriage, It should simply be about MARRIAGE RIGHTS for ALL. 

One of my family members and I have had this on going conversation about same-gender marriage. My brother Todd is an evangelical minister. I didn't clearly understand his position until we private messaged eachother last week. He explained his position a bit more clearly. He said "he is where he has always been on equal rights under the law and benefits for same-sex partners-in favor." Just not for same-sex marriage. He went on to explain further "my North Star is set-I live under authority of what I believe to be God's Word." At that point it clicked with me what he has been saying. It isn't that he disrespects mine and Kathy's marriage it is that he has his own path. He was at our commitment ceremony and sat right on the front row. If that ain't love I don't know what is. 

Here are my brother Todd and I at mine and Kathy's Commitment Ceremony.

For me all that matters is that Kathy and I are married in every since of the "Word Marriage". We just don't have the lawful benefits of Marriage. Life is good for us at the Bundy~Kidd household. 

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

JUST THE FACTS PLEASE

THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN TODAY AT THE HK ON J RALLY/MARCH TODAY

This morning my wife Kathy and I along with thousands of other North Carolinian's came together for an assembly called HK on J (Historic Thousands on Jones Street). This is the seventh year in a row that they have had this assembly. This is my first year of hearing about it and going to it and I am so grateful that we did. The Rev. Dr. William Barber II, whom I respect tremendously, said that there are many many policies that the North Carolina legislation, led by Republicans and some Tea Party members, have done that are not in the best interest of my home state of North Carolina. Let us be CLEAR this is not about politics this about what is good and not good for the State. This is about human and moral integrity. One thing that the Rev. Barber said is that "For the enemies of this movement- don't say what you THINK we stand for -we will TELL you what we stand for." That my friends is what this blog is going to be about. Just The Facts!

Are you ready to be enlightened by the FACTS of what is going on in the General Assembly of North Carolina? Wednesday was the first work day of the new General Assembly 2013. You read the following and then you look deep into your heart and decide if this is what is good for NC. Take your party affiliation hat off and   just keep your human hat on so to speak. The bills filed are as follows:

* Block the expansion of Medicaid under the Affordable Care Act and leave it to the Federal Government to build the State's online marketplace for health insurance. ~ This will leave thousands of poor people or unemployed (perhaps not by choice) people in our state without insurance. 

*A House Bill for Group homes -not just adult care homes-can benefit from $40 million set aside last summer to provide financial stability to facilities that provide personal care services for residents who no longer qualify for Medicaid coverage. ~ Seriously only $40 million. Do you have any idea how many people are in the group? I would bet more than $40 million worth.
*House bill let voters decide whether to place in the STATE constitution state's right-to-work status meaning union membership can't be a requirement for employment. Other amendments would make clear collective bargaining between local or state governments and unions is illegal and would affirm the right to workers to vote by secret ballot to determine whether they want union representation. House speaker Thom Tillis R-and Senate leader Phil Berger R- have said they are interested in a right-to-work amendment. ~ What all this means is that Unions will be in the past and in a right-to-work state which we are in now you can be terminated for no reason what so ever now if they put this in our constitution there is no way out. Don't screw with our NC Constitution!
*Amendment House bill would let voters decide whether private property condemnation by State or Local governments should be barred except for a "public use", such as highways or government buildings. ~ Again this should not be put in our NC constitution. Just keep laws, laws. This will cause our voting ballots to be as long as Florida's was. I for one am not interested in that!
*Sen. Jerry Tillman R, filed his own constitutional amendment that would make the superintendent of public instruction an appointed position, rather than the current elected position.~ This is not a good idea on so many levels. Again Don't Screw With Our NC Constitution!
*Tillis R, is the primary sponsor of a bill that would amend the state constitution to limit the time a speaker or Senate leader can serve in the post to four years. Here we go again another amendment. As my wife Kathy says let's not go hunting rabbits with an elephant gun.
*Tillis R, is the primary sponsor of a bipartison bill that would again seek to give $50,000 to the living victims of NC previous forced sterilization program.~Well what do you know a yay thing.
*Rep. Leo Daughtry R, would raise the mandatory retirement age for judges from 72 to 75.~Seriously! 
*Some House Republicans are again seeking to allow concealed weapon permit holders to bring their guns into restaurants where alcohol is served unless there's a notice prohibiting them from doing so. The bill would also exempt from public records laws the information collected by local sheriffs from people with concealed handgun permits.~ This sounds like a great idea. Drinking and guns don't mix.
*Sen Stan Bingham R, would revoke the driver's license of a motorist who passes a stopped school bus that's picking or dropping off passengers for as long as three years if the action results in fatally striking someone.~Another YaY!
*House members filed a bill creating new or tougher penalties for people who make methamphetamine or who possess a key ingredient in making meth after they've already been convicted  previously of making meth.~That makes three Yays!
*http://www.wral.com/bills-filed-as-nc-legislature-begins-in-earnest/12045353/

*Mandatory Voter ID: The North Carolinians most likely to lack photo ID are the elderly, disabled, and/or of color. Voter fraud is not a significant problem and what fraud there is mostly concerns absentee ballots.
*Education Reform: In the area of public schools. Look for the introduction of vouchers for private and religious schools, further expand charter schools, and the marginalization of teachers.
*More Destructive attacks on the environment: The 2013 boss has already questioned climate change and taken action to overrule modest proposed fracking guidelines.
*The States top sex policy enforcer House Majority leader Paul Stam R will introduce new anti-abortion rights bills and will likely figure out a way to target the LGBT community.
*https://www.facebook.com/ncpolicywatch

ART POPE, Head of Roses and Maxway. He inherited position from Daddy. Fan of rightwing philosophers. Uses store profits to fund his huge political ambitions.  His stores provide low wages for his employees. Cheap foreign goods to you. Big profits for the Pope family.  The Art Pope network spends $40 million on big campaign donations and on rightwing groups like The Civitas Institute, John Locke Foundations and American's for Prosperity (he heads AFP with the Koch Brothers).  Pope allies in the legislature pushes bills for the 1% not you. He and his family along with other groups give big bucks to get Republicans elected in order to:  Cuts taxes for the rich. Reduces health care for women, kids. Raise interest charges on loans. Cut early voting. Attack public campaign financing so money supporters like Pope call the shots. Gut environmental regulations. Attack gays and lesbians not poverty. Lay off thousands of teachers.
*This was a flier handed out by the Democracy North Carolina Of By and For the People.

There you have it. Take a moment or so to allow yourself to absorb all this information. I for one believe that the bills that contain constitutional amendments should be stricken from this list. Because this, in my opinion and the opinion of others, is a tactic to prolong polling times. As was done in Florida the last election cycle. There were 3 bills that I agree should happen but there are more bills that are bad for this state in my opinion and as you read above. As one of thousands in this State of NC I'am  going to go Forward Together and Not One Step Back! Call your representatives. Speak out loud and proud. This is serious stuff people!

Copy and paste this link to your browser: http://www.wral.com/news/video/12086484/#/vid12086484

I tried to insert the video but it is too long. It is the Rev. Dr. William Barber II giving his speech at todays rally/march. It is well worth the listen.



These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

WHAT REALLY MAKES A MARRIAGE?

To me what really makes a marriage is Love, Commitment, Communication, and Respect for one another that to me is what makes a marriage.From the time I was 8 years old I was raised in a One Man, One Woman marriage and just let me say that none of those elements, in my opinion were there. Sure there were times when the house was quiet but most of the time it was loud with screaming or should I say communication from my step father. Mom and I had an assortment of verbal, emotional and physical abuse from this man. The lack of commitment and respect for my Mom was shown by him in the way of infidelity . In fact, there were many times that Mom would load me in her car and we would go on a search of the bars and clubs to find this "man" and we would find him alright. We would find this "man" heading into a hotel room with women under each arm. I remember looking on my Mother's face and seeing the hurt and pain in her eyes.

Now in all fairness because I believe in fairness he was a heavy drinker at that time. He did get sober and things around the house did get better for about 3 or 4 years off and on. Then gradually things got back to the verbal, emotional, physical abuse. They live in a beautiful home. People in town call it the white house on the hill. It is my Mom's dream home and it is a beautiful home. The outside looks great the inside does to but what goes on inside does not. I finally moved away from my hometown and began thinking about my past with this family of ours. I wrote my Mom a letter about it and I honestly thought we could talk things out and I could understand more of why she stayed in this "marriage" of hers. Well we have been estranged it will be 4 years in June.

The reason I am sharing all this with you is because each and every time that I would get into a relationship my past with this One Man, One Woman Marriage would bite me on the ass. In every relationship I had I was verbally abusive because that is what I was raised with. I lost so many good relationships because of this.

Now to contrast with the One Man, One Woman Marriage I met and married a woman so now we have a One Woman, One Woman Marriage. Our marriage is one of Love, Commitment, Communication and Respect for one another. The woman I married is someone that has had to endure alot of my baggage that I brought into our relationship. The stipulation was that we go to couples therapy to try and figure out if we could make this relationship work. Well it has been 11 years in May since we have been together. I had to unlearn all my behavior patterns that I brought into this relationship but the point is that it was worth it to me. 

I know alot of you are probably thinking that it is the people that make a marriage and that is exactly my point of this blog.  One Man, One Woman Marriage is NOT what makes a marriage.  What really makes a marriage is TWO people that Love eachother, that are Committed to eachother, that Communicate with eachother and that Respect eachother. That is what makes a marriage not what sex they are.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.