OUR BEGINNINGS

I would like to share with you how Kathy and I got together. It is funny, silly and serious all at the same time. We started our relationship together with a sense of humor and it has stayed that way for many years now. Of course, there were some bumpy times in the beginning but it worked it's way out, with help from a terrific therapist and great friends working with us through the rough and tough times. 

Kathy and I both are in Alcoholics Anonymous {AA}.  I know it is okay for me to "out" my wife as a member of  AA. We both agree that if folks don't know you are a sober alcoholic, then how can you help them if they need it. 

Anyway, Kathy and I met in AA. I was just coming off a rough and bad relationship and she was easy to talk to. We went to what is called an eating meeting every Monday night. The meeting began at 6pm and ended at 7pm, afterward a bunch of us would go over to K &W cafeteria and have some dinner and talk. It was a great way to get to know people that were in the meeting. But me, I was to into whining and way to self absorbed over my heartbreak, to get to know the people around me. I don't know why, but Kathy kept talking to me about this woman every Monday night at K & W cafeteria. Well as time went by, I slowly began to get over this woman and began to look at Kathy in a different way.

We started hanging out before and after the Monday night meeting. The conversation began to change from my ex to other things. We began going to our AA women Potlucks together. One thing led to another and slowly we began to become good friends. The laughter and fun began.
After a while the flirting began. I remember some friends of ours were moving and a bunch of us got together to help them. Kathy and I were riding together in my jeep with a load of stuff for the women that were moving in the back. I slowly started to put my hand on her leg, but of course, I asked her if it was okay. She looked up and smiled at me and said yes. Then she would put her hand on mine. It was a beautiful moving day for me anyway.

Kathy, me and some friends went out to the theater one night to see a play. The whole way there Kathy and I sat in the back seat talking and laughing with one another. Then when we got to the theater we began flirting big time. Our friends weren't quite sure what to make of it I am sure. But it was fun and I enjoyed it. That was, for me, the beginning of my interest in getting to know Kathy better, if you know what I mean.

 Kathy had the potluck one night at her place in Wake Forest. All our friends were there and it was a good time as always. All of a sudden Kathy came up behind, as I was sitting in my chair and she put her arms around my neck, a hug from behind.  I really liked that. Once the meeting was over and our friends began to leave, I waited until the very last person was gone. Kathy and I sat outside on her porch and talked for a while. Then I got up and said, well it's time for me to get home. We hugged each other as I left.  As I past her I beeped my horn and she waved. I then did an illegal U turn and went back to her place. She was still outside in her yard. I pulled up to her and said, How would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night? She said that sounds great,  come here and I will fix you dinner, oh and, bring your chain saw, I have an old cherry tree I would like you to cut down for me. Some things never change. 

Once I came over for dinner, we ate and sat and chatted for a while, then she said come in here and look at these drawings, yes you guessed it, come in  my bedroom and look at my etchings, well  one thing led to another and guess what, the cherry tree never got cut down that night. :) I will just leave it at that. I will say that was our first kiss. Very romantic.  

We then went to Andrew and Aury's wedding. That is her son and daughter-in-law. The drive up there was very interesting and informative. We really had never talked politics or our views on things. Yes I am a reformed Republican, I really hate to admit that I was once a Republican, but I was this was many years ago! I am a Progressive Liberal Democrat now and there is NO going back!! 

After that drive up to Norfolk for Andrew and Aury's wedding it wasn't long after that, that our differences and other problems just weren't working out and Kathy broke it off. We both needed time to think and adjust. Thanks to Aury and others who talked with Kathy we got back together and have been together ever since. 

One day about a month after we broke up or as we say, took a hiatus,  Kathy called me on the phone and we did a bit of small talk then she asked me if I would come and meet her at a house that she was interested in buying. I said sure. Well, while the real estate agent was downstairs, we were upstairs in one of the bedrooms. We sat down on the bed and started talking, then kissing. Yup we were back together. One of Kathy's demands, I mean stipulations, was that we go to couples therapy. We did and still do. 

Kathy and I were together about 3 years before we moved in together. I remember it was a wintry night with snow on the ground. Kathy went and got her cats and brought them over to my place just in case she got snowed in over here. Then she went back over to her place, a few days later and got some more clothes and an extra toothbrush to keep here.  A little while later she brought her favorite piece of furniture over here, for safe keeping, she said. Well it took her about 10 months to move in piece by piece. I did help her to move in at her own pace with the heavy stuff.

The funny thing is I began asking her to marry me after about a year of being together. Finally she asked me to marry her about 2 years after she moved in here with me. I, of course said yes. Then we had our commitment ceremony that same year with family and friends in a beautiful magical setting. It was a friends backyard. We called it our enchanted garden.

After 8 years of being together we went and got ourselves legally married in Nova Scotia, Halifax, Canada. It was such a great experience and a wonderful time. We met some fantastic folks over there,  that we are still in contact with. We are planning on going back for a visit sometime.
As Kathy always says, our reception was with several  thousand of our closet friends. It was Pride the day we got married. The UU Church there made us a float that we rode in along with our minister Julie. Andrew and Aury stood up for us at our wedding, which made it extra special. 

Our life together has been a fun and sometimes sad journey. We never know where it is going to lead us but we will go there together with strength and humor. Our family motto is "It's all good no matter what."  As long we keep dancing in the kitchen everything is going to okay.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.