HUSTLE~ BUSTLE AND REALITY

The Christmas holidays always comes with it the hustle and bustle of getting the last minute shopping done. It also comes with reality of our aged parents and grandparents.

Kathy's daughter Ashley is here with her husband Mark of six months. They live in Denver Colorado and they're visiting and staying with us during the holidays. She was raised here in Raleigh and she still has friends here and the surrounding areas. During her visit back here she always finds time to get with her friends and the people she knows from here. Hence goes the hustle and bustle of her holiday here.

This is true of so many people that go back to their home town for  the holidays. There seems to be so much hustle and bustle especially when you only have a few days to cram everything in before you leave.

The reality comes into play when you go to visit a loved one who has aged or who has Alzheimer's disease and  is now living in a "Home". This is what Ashley faced today when we went to visit Mutti.

This was a very tough and a very rough visit for all four of us today.There has been such a huge change in Mutti since Ashley and Mark saw her last Christmas. The reality is that we may not have Mutti next Christmas and that's the thought that may have been on everyone's mind while we were there.

Let's not get so much in the hustle and bustle of the holidays not to realize the reality of life.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

I JUST DON'T "GET IT"

My life with Kathy is your basic married couple life. Kathy is retired and writes novels among other things and I am still working. Between our two incomes we manage to pay our bills and our taxes. We talk about finances, we talk about the love we share with one another, we have our ups and downs our laughter and tears together. We support one another whether it be family matters, work troubles or people problems in general and yes we slow dance together in the kitchen or actually any room in the house on occasion.

This is where I don't "get it". They're many people outside of our support network that curse us, that judge us, that call us horrible hateful names and they don't even know who we are and what we are about. People like Phil Robertson, Duck Dynasty, have every right to speak their mind in public, no matter how hurtful it is. The thing is when they speak their  truth as they see it and as they've been taught, that comes with a responsibility of the consequences of sharing that truth.

People in our supportive circle always say to me, oh don't worry about them we love ya. Even though I am grateful for their love, that's not the point. These hateful, horrible, disgusting and descriptive words that are used by people like Phil Robertson in public only spawn more people of like minds to speak the same words and all these people speaking these words cause nothing but problems and trouble for people just like Kathy and me trying to live our lives everyday in peace.

Just an observation but if you notice at the end of dynasty, as in Duck Dynasty is the word nasty. Just sayin.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

REFLECTIONS

As many of you know I am a recovering alcoholic and have been for 23 years, blessed be. My wife Kathy is also a recovering alcoholic and has been for 33 years. I can share this because she has given me permission to do so. Last night we hosted the women's AA Christmas potluck. This is an informal AA gathering that happens the first Saturday of each month, providing that someone volunteers to host it. This is an open gathering meaning you can bring someone with you as long as they are female or identify as female.

Last night the discussion turned into one of reflection of this past year, which it usually does at this particular potluck. Many shared of gratitude, some shared of the trials and tribulations of being newly sober and some shared of losing loved ones and their struggle with that. The emotions were strong and powerful.

As the women were sharing I was reflecting on the length of time that I have known many of these women. I moved to this area in 2001. My first sponsor when I moved here was at this gathering last night. She and her wife have become our dearest and closest friends. One of the first women that I sponsored was here last night. We I have become great and loving friends. There were so many good friends that have helped me and my wife through many of our good times and bad times both together and separately were here last night. This is where we have made our long lasting and loving true friendships. We all help each other.

I was also reflecting and feeling extremely grateful, while the discussion was going on, that these women are my family of choice and wow what a great feeling that is! Each time we hug each other and say our I love you's it means something. It isn't just something to say. I do love these women. Each one of these women, whether I've known them for years or months or days, carry a tiny piece of my heart with them.

Last night at this gathering we laughed, cried, felt each other's sorrow and pain as well as each others joy and gratitude as we do each and every time we come together in and out these women potluck gatherings.

I am truly blessed and grateful to have these women in my life!

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

MERRY CHRISTMAS/HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

It seems every time the Christmas season rolls around we hear some say there's a war on it. I'm not sure why that is. It could be because I don't label myself as Christian that I simply don't understand the reasoning behind this statement. I am spiritual, paganistic, agnostic and a Unitarian Universalist. Which simply means that I do try to see all sides of a situation. I simply can't seem to do that in this case.

The words for this blog have been rolling around in my thoughts for a while now. They all came together when I saw a poster this morning on my Facebook page that read: "Put Christ back in Christmas? Ho, Ho How about putting Christ back in Christian? Now before some of you get your feathers in a ruffle, please let me finish. Whatever happened to respect for one anothers differences, oh yeah that's right, as a whole, it's never been like that. Which to me is a shame!

In this day and time we have more and more cultures celebrating the holidays in many different ways. Why must it be just in the Christian Way? I do know and truly understand the" reason for the season" in the Christian theology. While there are many that subscribe to this theology, there are just as many that don't. Every one should be open to or at least try to be open to the differences of one anothers beliefs. You certainly don't have to embrace them for your own, and at the same time don't push your beliefs on others. Embrace the differences even if you don't embrace the beliefs.

The reason I put this blog on my Jillsville blog instead of my Jillsview of politics blog, is simply because I do believe in the separation of church and state, just as our forefathers did when they wrote and signed the Constitution to the United States of America.

This topic is very personal to me because I do have a multicultural family as well as friends and they all have different beliefs that I do respect and embrace as their beliefs even if I don't embrace them for my own.

And another thing that is on my  mind it doesn't really matter if you say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays the sentiment is all the same!

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.