NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY: MY STORY

I got this bit of history from LGBTQNATION. Here is the reason for celebrating National Coming Out Day. 

Today, October 11, is National Coming Out Day ~ the internationally observed day to celebrate coming out and to raise awareness of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) community and LGBT civil rights movement. 

National Coming Out Day was founded in 1988 by Robert Eichberg, a psychologist from New Mexico, and Jean O'Leary, an openly gay political leader from Los Angeles, on behalf of the personal growth workshop,"The Experience and National Gay Rights Advocates."

The date of October 11 coincides with the anniversary of the 1987 National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights.

Here is my "Coming Out" story:

Let me begin this by quoting from one of my civil rights heroes: "Burst down those closet doors once and for all, and stand up and start to fight." ~ Harvey Milk

Years ago my wife Kathy and I participated in the Pride Day at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Raleigh {UUFR}. We shared our story of how we came out and our life together as a couple. Kathy wrote our "script" and within the "script" was a statement of how I came out of the womb a lesbian and flirting with the nurses. That very well could have happened and so appropriate for me and the way I live my life and have always lived my life. Being Open and Proud. Kathy knows me so well. She calls me a "Gold Star Lesbian." 

So I don't have a "coming out" story per-say. Of course when I was younger and coming from a small but very conservative town I did "experiment" with being "straight". Dated guys but it just wasn't for me. I always felt uncomfortable and untrue to myself. That is so not a good place to be. I was extremely miserable. Being raised in this very conservative small town with conservative parents I was confused for just a bit but came to and out and stayed out from that time on. Sometimes I thought that I was the only homosexual in this town but I always seemed to manage to find others just like me. In fact, I dated a few here and there. 

Both my Mom and Step Father knew or I should say found out that I was a lesbian. My step father read my journal that I had hidden in the bottom drawer underneath some clothes. I found out later that he saw me writing in it one day and saw where I put it. So of course he got it out and read it. There were times when my Mom would say to me I do love you but I just don't like your "lifestyle." I don't mind telling you that would hurt me to the core. But that was how it was. As time went by and I started dating and bringing girls/women home to meet the folks well let me just tell you that is when things really went south. They were cordial enough but there was still alot of uncomfortableness for both my date, myself and I am sure for the folks. So needless to say it didn't happen very often and I kept a huge part of my life to myself.


National Coming Out Day is about being PROUD of who you are and knowing that who you are is okay. To quote Harvey Milk once again ~ "All young people, regardless of sexual orientation or identity, deserve a safe and supportive environment in which to achieve their full potential." 

Growing up in this conservative town with conservative parents I didn't always feel safe and supported. My Aunt Shirley, my mothers sister, has NEVER said to me I Love You but not your lifestyle. She is the mother of my heart and always has been. She loves me for who and what I am and doesn't judge me. My Uncle Chuck, Aunt Shirley's husband and my father figure he accepted and loved me also. I am so blessed to have other family members and friends from that same hometown and in my life today that love, support and accept me for me. It is a good feeling. So many people don't have that and it is shameful. There are so many people out there in this political world mostly the conservative Republicans that use their power and so called Christianity for evil, hate and homophobic bigotry. 

There are Ministers that use their pulpits to spread homophobic bigotry in the name of "Christian Values" instead of sharing equality and love which is more of a Christian Value. Also there are some Ministers out there who could USE their pulpits to spread equality and love but choose not to that is the biggest shame of all to me. I must say THANK YOU to the ministers that DO use their pulpits for equality and love.

We MUST work to change hearts and minds about LGBTQ people. We also MUST create a safe space for the LGBTQ youth. There is POWER in NUMBERS so let yourself be heard LOUD and CLEAR and with PRIDE! Come on out live free and know that you are good and you are loved for you.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.