Let me begin this blog post with the definition of Alzheimer's disease: This disease causes brain changes that gradually get worse. It's the most common cause of dementia - a group of brain disorders that cause progressive loss of intellectual and social skills, severe enough to interfere with day-to-day life. In Alzheimer's disease, brain cells degenerate and die, causing a steady decline in memory and mental function. It is one of the most horrible diseases that a family can endure. To watch the decline of a loved one. This is happening to a loved one of mine up close and personal. It not only effects her but all of us. The loved one that I am speaking of is Mutti aka Nancy L. Bundy my mother-in-law.
I joined this family almost 10 years ago. I not only fell in love with my wife Kathy Bundy but I fell in love with her family. I remember mine and Kathy's first date it was a play in which we were joined by her Mother Nancy aka Mutti {German for Mommy} and her sister Barb. Even though I was very quiet that night I felt very much at ease with Kathy's family especially Mutti.
When Kathy and I first got together Mutti lived in Louisburg. She was very content there. We had many a family gathering there. That is the place where Kathy's parents lived until her Dad Les was struck down with Alzheimer's disease a few years before I came into the picture. I never had the chance to meet Les he was already way into the disease and living in a rest home a couple of blocks from the house in Louisburg. He died from this disease a few months into our relationship. It was a sad time for the whole family.
Mutti stayed on at the homestead for a few years after Les died. Gradually she came to the point where she was not comfortable living so far away and she made the decision to move to Raleigh. This was a huge load off the family because it was her choice and not ours to make. She now lives in a retirement community and is very happy there with her boyfriend of 4 years Jack.
Mutti has always been a woman of words and music. She is a retired school teacher. Many a night she and Kathy would share conversations that would be WAY over my head. Now she can hardly put a sentence together. We would play board games after family gatherings on Holidays and Birthdays now she doesn't want to play games because she doesn't remember the rules or how to keep up.
The retirement home where she has been living and able to leave at her own will has called us on several occasions saying that she has left the building without supervision and they fear for her safety because she doesn't know where she is or where she is going. She has always enjoyed traveling for many many years on her own and now she needs to have someone travel with her and have a wheelchair available when she exits the plane to get her to a connecting flight.
Kathy is so good and patient with her Mom. I said to her once that I don't know how she does it and she said to me it's so easy because she is my Mom and I Love Her. She deserves to be treated with respect and dignity because that is how she has always treated me and others. Those words have stayed with me when I am around Mutti. It makes it easier for me to repeat myself when Mutti asks me the same question that I just answered not 5 min ago.
Kathy and I have talked about the future with Mutti. The time when Jack is unable to take care of her any longer or when she HAS to leave the retirement community. Neither one of us wants her to go to a lock down facility. NO WAY! The ONLY answer we have is for her to stay with us until the time that she needs specialized care. That is one of the reason's that Kathy retired early. We are both in agreement with this. Also we both realize this will be a huge adjustment and change in our lives but the bottom line is that families stay together and take care of eachother.
The special bond I have with Mutti happened pretty much from the beginning. I was going through a rough time with my Mom and Mutti said to me I will be your Mother for now. That meant so much to me and it still does. Even now she introduces me as one of her girls. I know that there will come a day when she will not know who I am and that is okay because I will know who she is and has been to me all these years.
These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.
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