Our lives have changed tremendously in the last year. Kathy's mother Nancy aka Mutti moved in with us. She has severe stage Alzheimer's Disease. After reading a blog yesterday entitled Amendment One and My Family it got me to thinking that I should write a blog about my family and the effects that Amendment One has on it. Basically since the state of North Carolina has a law against Same Sex marriage we are considered a domestic partnership even though we are legally married it is only valid in Canada and other states where marriage is recognized.
My morning begins at 5:30 on my work days. I wake up and make my way in the dark to the bathroom very quietly I might add because everyone in the house in sleeping even the critters. After my shower I get dressed in the bathroom and turn the light out and tip toe out as to not wake Kathy who is still sleeping. Buddy our dog jumps down off the bed to greet me as I gently unplug my cell phone by the bedroom door. Torrie who is our eldest dog slowly rises out of her bed which is at the end of our bed and follows Buddy and I out as I close the door behind me ever so gently.
Once I make my way to the kitchen with just the light of my cell phone I then turn on the breakfast nook light. Then I push the button to the coffee which was prepared the night before and as that is brewing I turn on the stove to heat the water in the kettle for the tea that Mutti drinks later in the morning. Looking down I see 4 doggie eyes staring up at me waiting for me to prepare their food which I do promptly. Once they begin to eat I prepare my breakfast using just the light from the breakfast nook. Once my breakfast is prepared I sit at the table with my computer to check both my email and facebook. After I do the computer time I then read out of my daily meditation book. Sometimes I even share my meditation with my facebook friends. Once I finish what I like to call my quiet time I put my lunch in my lunch box and off I go to work.
Kathy's morning starts a bit different. I see it when I have a day off work. She hits the ground running once Mutti is awake. Kathy tends to Mutti by helping her get dressed and making her tea and making sure she takes her morning meds before heading off to Sarah Care her elder day care. She goes to that 5 days a week now. Once Mutti is at day care Kathy comes home and does her writing. She is a retired Wake County school teacher and an author. Kathy also takes care of the cats Ramon and Carlos. Ramon has diabetes so he has to have a shot every morning before he eats. I don't have time to take care of them in the morning so Kathy does. They sleep beside Mutti's bedroom and I don't want to take the chance of waking her up before I leave because it gives Kathy a bit longer to sleep before her day begins with Mutti if she doesn't wake up.
The point of this blog is to show that we are a family doing the best we can for one another and our community. The church we attend is the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Raleigh {UUFR}. This year our church UUFR took a congregational vote to support the VOTE AGAINST campaign. It past unanimously without conversation. Once this resolution past the congregation as a whole let out a huge scream and clapped with joy and elation. Kathy and I looked at each other and hugged and said "We are home."
This amendment is being called "The Marriage Bill" by the christian right which is totally WRONG because in North Carolina there is a law banning same sex marriage. This amendment is about diminishing domestic partnerships both same sex and opposite sex. To me it is bigotry in motion. It is a form of bullying by a group of people that feel they are "superior" to every one else. They keep chanting about saving traditional marriage. They have NO idea what this referendum is about. They have NO idea that they are damaging children of domestic partners in this process.
The woman that wrote the blog that I spoke of earlier made the comment "if Amendment One passes, and I fear it will, for us there will be that initial gut punch, then tears, and then a burning rage at all those people in our community who voted for it. This rage will slowly simmer down to a low boil on the back burner of our busy lives." This is so true for me and others like me. After the initial pain if this Amendment passes life will go on but for me it will have a long lasting effect. Because I will feel betrayed by those people who voted for it. Those who vote for this Amendment are delusional and misguided and don't have the FACTS of this Amendment. They don't even know me and my family. We are NOT a threat to them they are a threat to us in my mind.
To those of you in the state of North Carolina that are registered voters and who are against this amendment and who don't vote...I say SHAME ON YOU. Because by not voting you are giving the proponents another vote for this discrimination and hate resolution.
Even if this amendment passes I will wake up at 5:30 in the morning on my work days and Kathy will still wake up and hit the ground running taking care of Mutti. Nothing will change on the outside but on the inside it will NEVER be the same.
These are my thoughts and feeling from Jillsville.
Thank you Jill, for sharing this perspective about your family. I hear you and I feel what you feel as I go out there and come face to face with amendment proponents... A few thousand of them on Friday. They do not understand and they do not know my friends Jill and Kathy, or Daire and Tara, or Jeff and Dave... And so on. The do not know but they think they are doing God's will but they are being manipulated. It makes me so mad and propels me in my work. There is so much to do... I am so grateful to be able to fight the good fight full time now.
ReplyDeleteTracy Hollister