THE CYCLE OF OUR LIFE

It seems that each and everytime we visit Mutti at her new digs the Arbor, my mind wonders to the cycle of life for each and every one of us. I look around and see all these individuals who were once young and vibrant then I think is this going to be me in 30 years. It causes me to pause and think about my life and how I am living it. It also brings to mind just how the cycle of life works. The beginning of life as a baby then you live your life through childhood then the teen years then the youth years then the middle aged years then the aging years of life then comes the declining years.

I find myself watching Mutti and seeing her struggle as she stands using her walker just as a child of around 7 months or so lifts themselves up on a piece of furniture as they begin to walk. Now she can't even stand up without assistance and only to move from her walker with wheels and a seat to the kitchen chair at the table. Also when Mutti eats she tends to leave food around her mouth just as a child does when they eat. It's peculiar to me that I have never given this much thought until Mutti started declining and living at the Arbor with the other Alzheimer's folks in the unit. Then I wonder is this what I have to look forward to or will it be different for me. Perhaps it is just those folks that have Alzheimer's disease that live their life as if they were a child again. I don't know how that works with getting older with or without Alzheimer's  I have nothing to compare it to. 

My Grandmother, God rest her soul, lived in a retirement home before she broke her hip and was transferred to a horrible despicable rest home until the family could get her into a nice nursing home. She declined quickly when the family put her into the retirement home then once she broke her hip she was pretty much a goner. I never really knew if she had Alzheimer's or not it was never really clear to any of us. She could have just had dementia as in mental decay from being old. All I know is that she was never really active especially after my Granddad died. She pretty much just stayed in her house all day and smoked her cigs and watched TV. Grandma had a rough life. She lived with an alcoholic and had 9 children that she pretty much had to raise by herself. Granddad had his own company but he only worked when it suited him. Don't get me wrong I loved my Granddad and my Grandma very much but they both could have used therapy and AA along with Al Anon. Grandma was never a people person she like being by herself and not being bothered with anyone not even her family at times. 

Now Mutti on the other hand was always an active woman. She traveled extensively and taught school. So her mind was always active. In fact, she would always come to our house and spend the night so she could go with Kathy to her school to help out with the kids the next morning. She loved doing that. Mutti was always on the go. It was her idea to move to Raleigh from Louisburg and start living at the Heritage because she was always a people person. She loved getting to know people and hanging out with her family. It hurts my heart to see her now but I continue to go to see her because I Love her and I remember her just as she was a vibrant woman who had a love and a zest for life. She still smiles and giggles ever so often and we never know why she does that. We think maybe it is because she is in her own world now and remembers something funny from her past life. We are okay with that. She seems happy and content and that is all that matters to us.

Perhaps the cycle of life is different for each and every individual I don't know. I guess the old saying TWT {Time Will Tell} is appropriate here. 

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.