HUSTLE~ BUSTLE AND REALITY

The Christmas holidays always comes with it the hustle and bustle of getting the last minute shopping done. It also comes with reality of our aged parents and grandparents.

Kathy's daughter Ashley is here with her husband Mark of six months. They live in Denver Colorado and they're visiting and staying with us during the holidays. She was raised here in Raleigh and she still has friends here and the surrounding areas. During her visit back here she always finds time to get with her friends and the people she knows from here. Hence goes the hustle and bustle of her holiday here.

This is true of so many people that go back to their home town for  the holidays. There seems to be so much hustle and bustle especially when you only have a few days to cram everything in before you leave.

The reality comes into play when you go to visit a loved one who has aged or who has Alzheimer's disease and  is now living in a "Home". This is what Ashley faced today when we went to visit Mutti.

This was a very tough and a very rough visit for all four of us today.There has been such a huge change in Mutti since Ashley and Mark saw her last Christmas. The reality is that we may not have Mutti next Christmas and that's the thought that may have been on everyone's mind while we were there.

Let's not get so much in the hustle and bustle of the holidays not to realize the reality of life.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

I JUST DON'T "GET IT"

My life with Kathy is your basic married couple life. Kathy is retired and writes novels among other things and I am still working. Between our two incomes we manage to pay our bills and our taxes. We talk about finances, we talk about the love we share with one another, we have our ups and downs our laughter and tears together. We support one another whether it be family matters, work troubles or people problems in general and yes we slow dance together in the kitchen or actually any room in the house on occasion.

This is where I don't "get it". They're many people outside of our support network that curse us, that judge us, that call us horrible hateful names and they don't even know who we are and what we are about. People like Phil Robertson, Duck Dynasty, have every right to speak their mind in public, no matter how hurtful it is. The thing is when they speak their  truth as they see it and as they've been taught, that comes with a responsibility of the consequences of sharing that truth.

People in our supportive circle always say to me, oh don't worry about them we love ya. Even though I am grateful for their love, that's not the point. These hateful, horrible, disgusting and descriptive words that are used by people like Phil Robertson in public only spawn more people of like minds to speak the same words and all these people speaking these words cause nothing but problems and trouble for people just like Kathy and me trying to live our lives everyday in peace.

Just an observation but if you notice at the end of dynasty, as in Duck Dynasty is the word nasty. Just sayin.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

REFLECTIONS

As many of you know I am a recovering alcoholic and have been for 23 years, blessed be. My wife Kathy is also a recovering alcoholic and has been for 33 years. I can share this because she has given me permission to do so. Last night we hosted the women's AA Christmas potluck. This is an informal AA gathering that happens the first Saturday of each month, providing that someone volunteers to host it. This is an open gathering meaning you can bring someone with you as long as they are female or identify as female.

Last night the discussion turned into one of reflection of this past year, which it usually does at this particular potluck. Many shared of gratitude, some shared of the trials and tribulations of being newly sober and some shared of losing loved ones and their struggle with that. The emotions were strong and powerful.

As the women were sharing I was reflecting on the length of time that I have known many of these women. I moved to this area in 2001. My first sponsor when I moved here was at this gathering last night. She and her wife have become our dearest and closest friends. One of the first women that I sponsored was here last night. We I have become great and loving friends. There were so many good friends that have helped me and my wife through many of our good times and bad times both together and separately were here last night. This is where we have made our long lasting and loving true friendships. We all help each other.

I was also reflecting and feeling extremely grateful, while the discussion was going on, that these women are my family of choice and wow what a great feeling that is! Each time we hug each other and say our I love you's it means something. It isn't just something to say. I do love these women. Each one of these women, whether I've known them for years or months or days, carry a tiny piece of my heart with them.

Last night at this gathering we laughed, cried, felt each other's sorrow and pain as well as each others joy and gratitude as we do each and every time we come together in and out these women potluck gatherings.

I am truly blessed and grateful to have these women in my life!

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

MERRY CHRISTMAS/HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

It seems every time the Christmas season rolls around we hear some say there's a war on it. I'm not sure why that is. It could be because I don't label myself as Christian that I simply don't understand the reasoning behind this statement. I am spiritual, paganistic, agnostic and a Unitarian Universalist. Which simply means that I do try to see all sides of a situation. I simply can't seem to do that in this case.

The words for this blog have been rolling around in my thoughts for a while now. They all came together when I saw a poster this morning on my Facebook page that read: "Put Christ back in Christmas? Ho, Ho How about putting Christ back in Christian? Now before some of you get your feathers in a ruffle, please let me finish. Whatever happened to respect for one anothers differences, oh yeah that's right, as a whole, it's never been like that. Which to me is a shame!

In this day and time we have more and more cultures celebrating the holidays in many different ways. Why must it be just in the Christian Way? I do know and truly understand the" reason for the season" in the Christian theology. While there are many that subscribe to this theology, there are just as many that don't. Every one should be open to or at least try to be open to the differences of one anothers beliefs. You certainly don't have to embrace them for your own, and at the same time don't push your beliefs on others. Embrace the differences even if you don't embrace the beliefs.

The reason I put this blog on my Jillsville blog instead of my Jillsview of politics blog, is simply because I do believe in the separation of church and state, just as our forefathers did when they wrote and signed the Constitution to the United States of America.

This topic is very personal to me because I do have a multicultural family as well as friends and they all have different beliefs that I do respect and embrace as their beliefs even if I don't embrace them for my own.

And another thing that is on my  mind it doesn't really matter if you say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays the sentiment is all the same!

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

MOMENTS IN TIME

How many of you have had "Blasts from the past" moments? Well I seem to be having them very often here lately. For no reason whatsoever my mind takes me back in time. It takes me back to when I was a child.
Growing up I had two important men in my life. One was my grandfather Harvey Smith. He was a part of my life until I was 12 years old he died from alcoholism. The other was my Uncle Chuck. He was a part of my life until I was 41 he died from esophageal cancer. There were so many lessons I learned from both my grandfather and my uncle Chuck. My grandad would take me to the barber to get my haircut when I was a kid. He would take me to help him out on his electrician calls. My Uncle Chuck and I would talk for hours about just stuff. Good memories of two great men that were in my life.
I've always had things that have triggered memories from my past and it was as though I was there at that moment in time. This just seems to be somewhat different for me.
Some of this could be from the estrangement of my mother and I. Some of this could be the fact that Kathy's mother is dying. Some of it could be the fact that I am getting older and as I get older my childhood gets further away from me.
Whatever the reason I do enjoy going back in time visiting those memories that I cherish.

These are my thoughts and my feelings from Jillsville.

Vows as Tools

Let me begin this blog by sharing mine and Kathy's wedding vows with you: I pledge to talk to you, to work out our differences,to listen with my mind and heart, to share my joys and fears, to love you into the unknowable future with spirit, laughter and grace.

This past weekend our vows were put to use as a tool to better understand and communicate a concern that had been weighing on me for a long time. Kathy listened with her mind and heart as I shared it. Come to find out she had been having this same concern.

Our trip this weekend was in Asheville to celebrate Ashley and Mark's wedding with a reception. They eloped back in June to Iceland. This reception was an opportunity to bring the two families together to meet for the first time. Everything went well until my outburst when we were leaving. What my outburst was about is truly not important because it really wasn't about that at all.

Andrew and AURY rode there and back with us. The car ride back to their place was a quiet one. After we dropped them off I began to ask Kathy a question about my outburst, before I got the question out she said, yes you were.. Instantly I grasped the stirring wheel tightly. Then just like Niagara Falls out came my bottled up concern that I had been carrying around with me these many years. Low and behold Kathy was had been having the same concern for years to. Just think we would not have known this had we not talked.

It is not important for me to share what the concern was about. The point of this blog is that everyone should remember their vows that they made with their partners. Because those vows were made for a reason.

After Kathy and I talked it out there was a relief for both of us. The next morning my shoulders felt lighter. When we met the kids for breakfast I made my apologies for my outburst the night before. All was forgiven and we had a great breakfast together.

I truly love Kathy's kids and their spouses. I truly feel like a protective parent at times especially to Ashley.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

RESENTMENT + PRAYER = RELIEF

In the program of Alcoholics Anonymous we have what is known as The Resentment Prayer. This prayer is used when you feel that you have wronged by someone or if you have a grudge against someone that has built up to a resentment. You simply pray for their Health, Happiness and Prosperity. No matter how much you don't mean it in the beginning, after a week or so you begin to be believe it and then the resentment, hurt and pain is gone for that person.

The reason I am bringing this up is because yesterday, a good friend of mine came by the house to bring us some really good peaches that she got from the farmers market. We sat down on the glider on the front porch and began to talk.

She asked me about my mom and how the situation between us was going. I told her that she had sent me a certified letter saying that she was no longer my mother and she no longer had a daughter along with some other hurtful things. To this my friend asked if I had said The Resentment Prayer? I replied No because I didn't even think about it. All these years of estrangement from my mom, I never once thought about saying The Resentment Prayer. I began saying The Resentment Prayer yesterday after we spoke and already I feel the difference. The weight on my shoulders seems to be lifting a bit.

This blog is not about downing my mother, I love her and would never intentionally disrespect her. This blog is about living a more serene and peaceful life. It's about not allowing people, places or situations to get you down.

I have spent way too much time blaming myself for my mothers behavior towards me. The time is now to look at this situation from a different perspective, one of a woman to woman rather than a child to mother.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

DOWN BUT CERTAINLY NOT OUT

For the last few months I have been in the throes of a really bad crohn's disease flare up. My crohns doc put me on massive dosages of two different types of antibiotics at the same time. Could not go to work. Went out on FMLA. We were living on Kathy's retirement during this time. Let me tell you, I was down but certainly not out.

They're many reasons why I was down but certainly not out. The down part was true. The antibiotics had me physically down, not emotionally down. The reason that I was not out is simple, my wife, critters, family and my true friends. Those friends who love and care about me no matter what.

I have always believed that the richest person, is the one that has true friends. I've always known that the few friends that I have in my circle are true. Every single one of them have done something to help me out during this hard time. They have come over and mowed or worked out in the yard a couple of them planted trees in my back 40. All this has endeared them to me even more than they already were.

Those that didn't do physical stuff did personal stuff for me. Which is just the same in my mind. We have a couple of dear friends that took Kathy and I out to eat on the nights that I felt up to it. It was so important to me to be able to get out of the house and spend time socializing. The added bonus was that it was with them. Also friends would call, text, email, tweet and Facebook me. That did my heart good.

This crohns journey flare up is coming to an end for now. It will be great to see the crew at work, where I have a few of those true friends. My body is healing in many ways. Love is stronger than antibiotics. Well maybe a combination of both.:-)

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

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DETACH WITH LOVE

What a Beautiful concept that is, Detach With Love.  This has been on my mind since Saturday.
I received a certified letter from someone close to me Saturday morning. Someone that I thought loved me very much and would never hurt me. It was hurtful to me and it was unnecessary.

Detach with Love means to let someone go out of your life, yet at the same time letting them know that you still love them. The letter I received was not that kind of letting go. I am still rather shocked, hurt and pained by the letter, yet at the same time I am not allowing it to get me down.

Another way to detach with love, without leaving their life, is to accept their differences and to love them anyway. For example, I just got my head shaved, fortunately my wife Kathy likes it, but even if she didn't she would not leave me because of it, she wouldn't even give me a hard time about it. Because she would respect my decision. Afterall, it is not her hair. True, True. 

I chose to surround myself with people that share my reality of life. People that are good to others and respect them even if they disagree with them. 

My life is full of people that truly do love me and truly do care about me. They know how to detach with love and respect if the need ever arises for them to do so with loved ones.  Love and Peace is the way I choose to live my life now and that is the way that I will continue to live it. Blessed Be.



These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

Here are some of those folks that I choose to spend my time and life with.

Here is my recently shaved head. It was my way of shedding the past and moving on to the future.

OUR BEGINNINGS

I would like to share with you how Kathy and I got together. It is funny, silly and serious all at the same time. We started our relationship together with a sense of humor and it has stayed that way for many years now. Of course, there were some bumpy times in the beginning but it worked it's way out, with help from a terrific therapist and great friends working with us through the rough and tough times. 

Kathy and I both are in Alcoholics Anonymous {AA}.  I know it is okay for me to "out" my wife as a member of  AA. We both agree that if folks don't know you are a sober alcoholic, then how can you help them if they need it. 

Anyway, Kathy and I met in AA. I was just coming off a rough and bad relationship and she was easy to talk to. We went to what is called an eating meeting every Monday night. The meeting began at 6pm and ended at 7pm, afterward a bunch of us would go over to K &W cafeteria and have some dinner and talk. It was a great way to get to know people that were in the meeting. But me, I was to into whining and way to self absorbed over my heartbreak, to get to know the people around me. I don't know why, but Kathy kept talking to me about this woman every Monday night at K & W cafeteria. Well as time went by, I slowly began to get over this woman and began to look at Kathy in a different way.

We started hanging out before and after the Monday night meeting. The conversation began to change from my ex to other things. We began going to our AA women Potlucks together. One thing led to another and slowly we began to become good friends. The laughter and fun began.
After a while the flirting began. I remember some friends of ours were moving and a bunch of us got together to help them. Kathy and I were riding together in my jeep with a load of stuff for the women that were moving in the back. I slowly started to put my hand on her leg, but of course, I asked her if it was okay. She looked up and smiled at me and said yes. Then she would put her hand on mine. It was a beautiful moving day for me anyway.

Kathy, me and some friends went out to the theater one night to see a play. The whole way there Kathy and I sat in the back seat talking and laughing with one another. Then when we got to the theater we began flirting big time. Our friends weren't quite sure what to make of it I am sure. But it was fun and I enjoyed it. That was, for me, the beginning of my interest in getting to know Kathy better, if you know what I mean.

 Kathy had the potluck one night at her place in Wake Forest. All our friends were there and it was a good time as always. All of a sudden Kathy came up behind, as I was sitting in my chair and she put her arms around my neck, a hug from behind.  I really liked that. Once the meeting was over and our friends began to leave, I waited until the very last person was gone. Kathy and I sat outside on her porch and talked for a while. Then I got up and said, well it's time for me to get home. We hugged each other as I left.  As I past her I beeped my horn and she waved. I then did an illegal U turn and went back to her place. She was still outside in her yard. I pulled up to her and said, How would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night? She said that sounds great,  come here and I will fix you dinner, oh and, bring your chain saw, I have an old cherry tree I would like you to cut down for me. Some things never change. 

Once I came over for dinner, we ate and sat and chatted for a while, then she said come in here and look at these drawings, yes you guessed it, come in  my bedroom and look at my etchings, well  one thing led to another and guess what, the cherry tree never got cut down that night. :) I will just leave it at that. I will say that was our first kiss. Very romantic.  

We then went to Andrew and Aury's wedding. That is her son and daughter-in-law. The drive up there was very interesting and informative. We really had never talked politics or our views on things. Yes I am a reformed Republican, I really hate to admit that I was once a Republican, but I was this was many years ago! I am a Progressive Liberal Democrat now and there is NO going back!! 

After that drive up to Norfolk for Andrew and Aury's wedding it wasn't long after that, that our differences and other problems just weren't working out and Kathy broke it off. We both needed time to think and adjust. Thanks to Aury and others who talked with Kathy we got back together and have been together ever since. 

One day about a month after we broke up or as we say, took a hiatus,  Kathy called me on the phone and we did a bit of small talk then she asked me if I would come and meet her at a house that she was interested in buying. I said sure. Well, while the real estate agent was downstairs, we were upstairs in one of the bedrooms. We sat down on the bed and started talking, then kissing. Yup we were back together. One of Kathy's demands, I mean stipulations, was that we go to couples therapy. We did and still do. 

Kathy and I were together about 3 years before we moved in together. I remember it was a wintry night with snow on the ground. Kathy went and got her cats and brought them over to my place just in case she got snowed in over here. Then she went back over to her place, a few days later and got some more clothes and an extra toothbrush to keep here.  A little while later she brought her favorite piece of furniture over here, for safe keeping, she said. Well it took her about 10 months to move in piece by piece. I did help her to move in at her own pace with the heavy stuff.

The funny thing is I began asking her to marry me after about a year of being together. Finally she asked me to marry her about 2 years after she moved in here with me. I, of course said yes. Then we had our commitment ceremony that same year with family and friends in a beautiful magical setting. It was a friends backyard. We called it our enchanted garden.

After 8 years of being together we went and got ourselves legally married in Nova Scotia, Halifax, Canada. It was such a great experience and a wonderful time. We met some fantastic folks over there,  that we are still in contact with. We are planning on going back for a visit sometime.
As Kathy always says, our reception was with several  thousand of our closet friends. It was Pride the day we got married. The UU Church there made us a float that we rode in along with our minister Julie. Andrew and Aury stood up for us at our wedding, which made it extra special. 

Our life together has been a fun and sometimes sad journey. We never know where it is going to lead us but we will go there together with strength and humor. Our family motto is "It's all good no matter what."  As long we keep dancing in the kitchen everything is going to okay.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE

As many of you know, I am going through a bout with my Crohn's Disease. This disease has been a part of my life for over 30 years now. Please believe me when I say that I am so NOT complaining. I have had it "easy" compared to others that I have spoken with that have this disease. There are many things that I have learned over the years, one is laughter and medicine to go together. I guess that is why I titled this block Laughter is the best Medicine. 

My Crohn's doc, Dr. Douglas Drossman, yes I gave him a shout out! Dr. D, as I affectionately call him, has been my doc for these 30+ years. I am now 52. You do the math as to when I was diagnosed. He is the one that diagnosed me and he is the one that has brought me out of many many bouts or as they're usually referred to as Flare Ups. These flare ups can last any number of days, weeks or months it just depends on where the disease is located and how much is being affected.

We have plenty of laughter in our household. My wife and I laugh alot together. She makes me laugh with some of the things I say to her and she in turn says something back to me about it.  Sometimes when I laugh, it causes her to laugh even more. For instance, just the other day she was heading out to run a few errands, she hesitantly asked me if I wanted to go with her. I in turn asked her what errands she was running. As she listed them I said okay I'll go with you. 

She drove and immediately as she left the driveway, I said to her now turn the wheel a bit more to get past the mailbox. She looked over at me and said, okay who is driving again? We both laughed. Now a bit later, when we stopped at one of our errand destinations, she was pulling into the drive through and I said, to her,  you are a bit close to the wall aren't you? The look she gave me was priceless. I started giggling, then she started to giggle and the sales person came to the window. Then we both looked at each other and smiled. 

My wife and I also have plenty of critters around that give us joy and laughter. We have two dogs, two cats, only 1 keet right now. We just lost Lasko, our yellow keet. :( . That was sad but we didn't let it get us down for to long.  We have lost many pets along the way since our 11 years together. We take it in stride and realize this is nature. That doesn't  mean we don't grieve because we do. We  simply hold one another until it passes no matter how long it takes.

Nanalu is our newest addition to the family. She is a 6  month old German Shepherd mix. She weighs, right now, the same weight that our 2 year old Lab/Pit mix Buddy does. The two of them together are a delight to us. They run and play together like no ones business. Both of them cause laughter and hilarity.

We have two cats. We call them our yellow boys. Roman and Carlos. Those two plus the two dogs are just funny together. Carlos plays, cat and dog, with Buddy. He sneaks around the corner where Buddy is until Buddy sees him, then he runs and Buddy chases him. It is funny to watch.

Our life together is a mix of Love and Laughter and Medicines for all that ails us. One thing is for sure I wouldn't change my life for anything in this world.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

BTW: These are the kinds of posts I will be sharing on Jillsville from now on. This was originally what kind of posts I wanted to do. Funny and light. No more politics on this blog. However, I am starting a  new blog called Jillsview on Politics. I will attach it to this blog. Thanks those of you that read my blogs and have liked them and joined them. Time to go laugh the day away.

FEAR AND COMPASSION

Where has all our compassion gone for all those that are of a different culture than we are? Personally I believe it is our fear as Americans. Especially when something as devastating and horrific as the Boston bombings were. I was deeply troubled by the out pour of hate that I was hearing from the majority of the American people after the Boston bombings. 

Once one of the news outlets said that it was a man/men of brown skin. It was on after that. All the prejudice and bigotry of the majority of the American people were fueled. I was hearing about beatings and foul mouthed racial slurs toward our Muslim brothers and sisters. On facebook I would read posts such as one dead one to kill. At this point let me make a full disclosure, I will admit, that for a brief moment,  I to was thinking to myself we should kill the bastard. Not because of the color of his skin, because at that time I did not know and it didn't matter to me, because I just wanted swift "justice" or vigilante justice as it were.

Once I calmed down and the initial shock of what happened stop consuming me,  I realized that it was just wrong to feel this way about another human being. Now let me say without a doubt this does not mean that I take lightly what happened to the victims of the bombing because I do not .  In fact, I have such compassion for those families of the loved ones who died and those suffering at the hands of what these two young misguided men did.  

Fear , bigotry and hate must not guide us. We must not punish those that are of the same faith of the two misguided young men. Also we must NOT punish and take out our fear and frustration on the Muslim people in our community. It is as though most of Americans group all people that are not of American descent into one group and do horrific hate crimes to this group. It is so past time to stop doing this. 

If fact, President Obama stated in his speech last night exactly what I am saying in this blog. Here is an excerpt of that speech: The American spirit includes staying true to the unity and diversity that makes us strong like no other nation in the world. In this age of instant reporting, tweets and blogs there is a temptation to latch on to any information and sometimes to jump to conclusions, but when a tragedy like this happens with public safety is at risk and the stakes so high it is important that we do this right. That is why we have investigations, that is why we relentlessly gather the facts, that's why we have courts and that is why we take care not to rush to judgment not about the motivations of these individuals and certainly not about entire groups of people. After all one of the things that makes America one of the greatest nations on earth but also one of the things that makes Boston such a great city is that we welcome people from all around the world, people of every faith, people of every ethnicity,  from every corner of the globe. So as we continue to learn more about why and how this tragedy happened let's make sure that we sustain that spirit.

My wife Kathy and I live in a diverse neighborhood and I must say I absolutely love it here. I feel so safe and so protected by all my neighbors, because we all look out for one another. We have such a melting pot of different people here. Different cultures and ethnicity.  I look at it as a way to learn different cultures and to embrace our differences. 

The one surviving Boston Bomber is a young man of 19 years old. Just a kid. Why should we not show him compassion just as we show our fallen Americans and our fallen Chinese exchange student. He was misguided just as the majority of our American kids are today. He followed his older brother because that is what he always had done.  I for one am grateful that they caught him and he is alive. Not to mention how scared he probably was. He saw his brother killed right in front of his eyes. I would be scared to. Fear made him run and fear got him caught. Perhaps he can give us needed information and get some mental help for what he has done.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

REPUBLICAN DESTRUCTIONISM

Just in case you haven't been aware of what is happening in North Carolina politics since becoming a Republican lead majority. This is what it looks like in my home state. The Republicans have been proposing many horrific policies and it ain't pretty.

First and foremost when Governor McCrory took office he gave his cabinet a raise. Now he did this in a state that is struggling with unemployment. Jobs, Jobs, Jobs right. Which brings us to the severe cuts in unemployment benefits law that he signed. This law reduces the maximum benefit allowed from $535 a week to $350 a week while cutting the number of weeks an unemployed worker is eligible for the program from 26 to 20.   As a result, 170,000 jobless North Carolinians will also lose access to $780 million in federal unemployment funds. This act earned him a rebuke from the National Employment Law Project, which said in a release that the law will result in "The most severe cuts to both state and federal unemployment insurance of any state in the nation".

On to the Racial Just Act it seems the Republicans want to repeal it. Repealing this legislation will no longer protect defendants from racial bias during their trials. This seems to me to be completely racist.

Next there is the HB 217 legislation. This would allow a kid as young as 13 to be included in the adult criminal justice system and it will remove judicial oversight. If past it will give prosecutors complete discretion over NC's children it will also stop juvenile court judges from decision making power.

Now we come to Voter Suppression Republican style in my home state of NC. Republican house majority leader Edgar Starnes wants to shorten the length of time for early voting, prohibit voting on Sunday, abolish same day registration at early voting sites and end straight ticket voting. Also they want to only have one early voting sight per county. As a rule early voters seem to favor Democrats. So there you go. People who have served their time will have to wait an additional five years before they get their voting rights back. Oh and let's not forget the voter ID law even though we have had NO voter fraud in North Carolina.

Now on to Education. Senate bill 516 which state there will be NO maximum class size. The current cap is 24 kids per elementary class room. Lifting classroom maximums would allow school districts to lay off teachers during lean budget times. Then you have the charter schools. The bill SB 337 co sponsored by Sen. Jerry Tillman of Moore County states that no education is required for applicants and teachers don't need to be licensed or even have a college degree to teach core subjects. This bill also makes criminal back ground checks optional. So that means background checks for poor people, just not teachers in charter schools.

Get ready heterosexual married folk. Getting a divorce in North Carolina is going to take longer for you now. The Health Marriage Act HB518. Senator Austin Allran (R-Catawba) understands the moral decay that's gradually infecting our state. Never fear: He has written a law that will get us back on the path to a virtuous society. His bill would extend the separation period from one year to two years and require counseling for each person. So much for domestic violence protection.

There is more but I figure this is plenty for folks to digest and get heartburn from knowing. If you are not happy with the way the GOP is disrupting our state please contact your NC State Representatives even if your representatives are democrats. It is always good to let them know that you want them to continue the fight.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

 http://www.indyweek.com/indyweek/this-week-in-disappointment-more-terrible-republicans-bills/Content?oid=3494382

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jamison-doran/an-open-letter-to-the_b_3014361.html

http://thinkprogress.org/?s=North+Carolina&nl=1&x=-945&y=-108

IN HONOR OF INTERNATIONAL WOMAN'S DAY

There are so many women in my life now and in the past that have brought me much love and strength. Those women include my mother, who gave me life and nurtured me, my Aunt Shirley who is my second mother who has given me love and support ~ also my wife who loves me and after much therapy and acceptance of one another's differences we share a bond that is stronger and stronger everyday. I have met such an array of women that I have learned many many lessons of life from. Yes even my exes have taught me things about myself and many of whom I have gained much knowledge in many different areas of my life some of which will be included perhaps in another blog. Afterall my wife reads this blog. ;>0 .

Let's begin with my Mother. She had me at a young age. I was one of those oops babies. However, she never once made me feel like an oops baby. I grew up knowing I was loved and cared for. As a child I remember washing dishes together and playing in the ocean together. Even though circumstances have changed between as an adult that doesn't mean that the love I have for her has changed.

Another strong woman in my life was my Grandmother Elsie. She was my mother's mother. There were times when I was young, that I was a bit fearful of her because she was such a strong presence in my life. Of course being that I was a bit of a tomboy, I was always into something and getting into trouble with her. As I grew up and became an adult I realized that she had such a huge weight on her shoulders. What with having a husband that was a binge drinker and raising 9 kids on her own, it was not surprising that she was a disciplinarian. Once she got older she mellowed out so much and became a wealth of life knowledge for me and my cousins. She died when I was 25 years old. What a loss.

My Aunt Shirley is an important woman in my life. She is my mother's younger sister. She is the Mother of my Heart. She always has been and always will be. She is so easy for me to talk to and to get advice from. Our talks are always so easy. I feel that I can tell her anything and she will totally listen to what I am saying and understand it and not judge me or stop loving me no matter what I do or say. When her husband my Uncle Chuck died she was such an inspiration to me. The way she came through it with courage and grace. Her strength and wisdom of life are what I admire about her. Her strength is my strength. She loves and accepts my wife Kathy as if she was her daughter just as I feel as though I am her daughter.

Another strong and soft spoken woman in my life is Kathy's mom Nancy or as I call her Mutti. Which means Mommy in German. When my Mother and I were going through a rough spot she said to me,  I will be your stand in Mom if you want me to be. It brings tears to my eyes even now as I am typing this. She has always been a bright spot in my life. Even now that she has Alzheimer's disease. She has a smile, even without her teeth, that makes my heart shine. People say you can see someone's soul in their eyes. Well if that's true then Mutti has a true soul.

Two more women that are important to me in my life are Kathy's sisters Barb and Lee. 
Barb is  a great listener. She also tells it like it is but in a loving way. I feel that I can share anything with her and it is held in confidence. Her hug is filled with love. Now Lee is Kathy's sister in Up State NY. We had the opportunity to visit with her and her family on the way home from our honeymoon. She made me feel welcomed and a part of the family while we were there. She is accepting of Kathy and I and our marriage which makes her a gem in my book. 

Kathy's daughter Ashley. We have had a long and challenging road that is for sure. Now I feel that we have an understanding of one another that is ever changing at least for me with her. She has a great love of African American History which I find fascinating and that I get a kick out of hearing her talk about. She has taught me many lessons about life. I have seen her grow from a young woman to an adult and it has been a joy for me to be a part of. The love that she and her mother have just amazes me and makes my heart sing. I thank her for allowing me to be in her life and to learn from her strength and creativeness that she has. It makes me wish that Kathy and I raised her together from a child. So that I could have shared more of her life growing up and that I could be her mom to share the love that they have. 

Another woman that I just love and adore is Kathy's daughter in law or should I say other daughter Aury. I just can't tell you how much Aury means to me and my life. She has a genuine sweetness about her that I just admire. Her love is real and once you have it she will not let you go. She has the ability to see through to the real  you. When Kathy and I were going through a rough time Aury said to Kathy Jill has a good heart and she is a loyal person. Well to me Aury is those things and more. I simply don't know what I would do if Aury was not in my life. She has brought so much love and  kindness to me. Oh and her hugs are amazing! You can actually feel the love flow through.

This brings me to my BEST girl. My wife Kathy. When we first met I would tell her take off those rose colored glasses. Now I say aren't these rose colored glasses great! She has brought so much into my life. I remember when I was younger I would say to my higher power...please put someone in my life who will love me and accept me for who and what I am. Well after many many years that is what has happened to my delight. See miracles do happen to those that wait. Kathy and I have been on our journey now for almost 11 years and it just keeps getting better thanks to another important woman in both our lives Andrea our therapist. 

Last but certainly not least are the many women that I work with. These women are hard working and fantastic! It is true what people say about nurses. They do have hearts of gold so do surgical techs. Thank you Ladies for making work bearable and fun.

There are so many women that have past through my life and that are in my life right now that I didn't mention by name but please know that you are important to me. Everyone of you has given me something or even now give me something to think about or to grow from and for that I thank you. Now all of you go out and thank the women in your lives for what they do.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

IT''S ALL IN HOW YOU ARE RAISED

This blog is about how you were raised and the political impact that your parents have on you as a child. For me I was raised in an extremely conservative town. My folks are still extremely conservative. My step-father thinks Rush Limbaugh is the best thing since peanut butter and jelly. My mom thought Sarah Palin was/is a bright and intelligent woman. So as much as I hate to admit it I myself was a Republican for many many years. In fact even more I hate to admit that YES I voted for George W. Bush first time around. Definitely not the second time around. Okay there I said it as much as I dislike and am totally embarrassed to write it and admit it I totally did that horrible thing.

Now growing up surrounded by conservatives that is all I heard. With my folks being conservative and alot of my family members being conservative, all I heard growing up was how great Republicans are and how much they care about our country and perhaps at that time all that was true. It is not so true today because of the Tea Party infiltration and all the obstruction going on within the Republican party. But getting back to the purpose of this blog. I grew up conservative just as my mother grew up being a Dixiecrat because my grandparents were both Dixiecrat's which I find out that is just as the old Republican party use to be back in the day. At any rate when my Mom became older she decided to become a Republican. She was even afraid to tell my Granddad of her decision because she knew he would be upset and he was for a while.

My change from Republican to Democrat came when I moved here to Raleigh, NC in 2001. It didn't happen overnight. It took a while to get that conservative "brainwash" out of my head. While in Raleigh I met a woman named Kathy Bundy my future wife. Now Kathy's family were and are all liberal democrats. So here you have a conservative hanging around with a bunch of liberal's. In fact I was all for the war at that time because I kept hearing from "home" about how good it was to defeat the man that bombed our buildings and how he was a threat to the United States of America! 

The change came for me around 2003 when I began listening to all sides of the political debate and I didn't have those voices from "home" tell me how great George W was. It became clear to me that the war was a total unnecessary evil and that George W. was a horrible disgrace to this country. Once that became clear to me I decided that I would register from Republican to Independent that way I wouldn't have a label. Well when I told my step-father about this he said I was riding the fence and of course I allowed him to push my buttons. The next day I went down to the voter registration and changed my affiliation to Democrat and I haven't had the desire to change it and will never change it! I became a liberal Democrat in 2004. I voted for John Kerry and never looked back. I have dug my claws into the Democratic party because I truly believe that it is the most inclusive party there is and I support this party will all of my heart.

Now the other point of this blog is how when you begin thinking for yourself things begin to change for you. The case in point are the two Granddaughters of Fred Phelps of Westboro Baptist Church who left the "church" which is really a cult. Megan Phelps-Roper 27 and her younger sister Grace Phelps-Roper. They left the cult in November and were "cut off" from their family members. They began to wonder about all this hate and phenom that their Grandfather was spewing about gays or as they say fags. They left this cult because they say that their views and beliefs have evolved and they regret any pain that they have caused other folks. I say good for them. In fact, Megan now is an advocate for equal rights. 

Ain't life grand when you live it for yourself and not to please others. 

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

VOWS ARE COMMITMENTS

Yesterday I was reminded of mine and Kathy's commitment vows that we took back on May 26, 2007. "I pledge to talk to you, to work out our differences, to listen with my mind and heart, to share my joys and fears, to love you into the unknowable future with spirit, laughter and grace." Also our wedding vows that we took back on July 24, 2010. " I Jill Kidd, take you Kathy Bundy to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part. Both of these vows contain words and meanings that I / We hold dear and true.

Here we are at our Commitment Ceremony

Here we are at our Wedding Ceremony with our former UU minister Julie.

Our commitment program read: "Kathy and Jill, the time has now come for you to create a covenant together. Such a covenant is not to be made lightly, for the words you speak here today will change your lives forever." This has held true for both of us all these years. Both Kathy and I take our vows and our commitment to one another seriously. We entered our lives together with this in mind. It takes commitment and work to achieve this and both of us are willing to do this together and apart. 

I was reminded of all this yesterday because my wife Kathy had a horrible case of vertigo. She could not even raise her head in bed. I didn't want to leave her to go to work but it was a necessity and at her insistence I did but not without calls from work to check in on her during the day. We both have good friends and family members who support our relationship. Luckily I have a supervisor that when I went into work I explained the situation to her and said that if Kathy were to call and need me I would be going home. She understood and gave me the okay to do so. We have much support and love for which we feel truly blessed.

At one point during the evening Kathy asked if I would mind going to the store and picking her up a few things that she wanted. She said I hate to ask you to do it. I looked at her eye to eye and said to her "How many times have you gone to the pharmacy for me when I was sick? Sometimes it would be 10 at night or sometimes midnight. At that she just looked at me and smiled as leaned down to her and kissed her gently on her lips. Then I walked out of the door list in hand and a smile on my face. 

I do realize that not everyone is "on board" with same-gender marriage. It seems that I have always felt that it was up to me to change minds until recently. I saw one of those photo's on facebook that said something to the gist of { I don't need YOUR approval for my marriage. I just need the law to change.}. It shouldn't be labeled same-gender marriage, It should simply be about MARRIAGE RIGHTS for ALL. 

One of my family members and I have had this on going conversation about same-gender marriage. My brother Todd is an evangelical minister. I didn't clearly understand his position until we private messaged eachother last week. He explained his position a bit more clearly. He said "he is where he has always been on equal rights under the law and benefits for same-sex partners-in favor." Just not for same-sex marriage. He went on to explain further "my North Star is set-I live under authority of what I believe to be God's Word." At that point it clicked with me what he has been saying. It isn't that he disrespects mine and Kathy's marriage it is that he has his own path. He was at our commitment ceremony and sat right on the front row. If that ain't love I don't know what is. 

Here are my brother Todd and I at mine and Kathy's Commitment Ceremony.

For me all that matters is that Kathy and I are married in every since of the "Word Marriage". We just don't have the lawful benefits of Marriage. Life is good for us at the Bundy~Kidd household. 

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

JUST THE FACTS PLEASE

THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN TODAY AT THE HK ON J RALLY/MARCH TODAY

This morning my wife Kathy and I along with thousands of other North Carolinian's came together for an assembly called HK on J (Historic Thousands on Jones Street). This is the seventh year in a row that they have had this assembly. This is my first year of hearing about it and going to it and I am so grateful that we did. The Rev. Dr. William Barber II, whom I respect tremendously, said that there are many many policies that the North Carolina legislation, led by Republicans and some Tea Party members, have done that are not in the best interest of my home state of North Carolina. Let us be CLEAR this is not about politics this about what is good and not good for the State. This is about human and moral integrity. One thing that the Rev. Barber said is that "For the enemies of this movement- don't say what you THINK we stand for -we will TELL you what we stand for." That my friends is what this blog is going to be about. Just The Facts!

Are you ready to be enlightened by the FACTS of what is going on in the General Assembly of North Carolina? Wednesday was the first work day of the new General Assembly 2013. You read the following and then you look deep into your heart and decide if this is what is good for NC. Take your party affiliation hat off and   just keep your human hat on so to speak. The bills filed are as follows:

* Block the expansion of Medicaid under the Affordable Care Act and leave it to the Federal Government to build the State's online marketplace for health insurance. ~ This will leave thousands of poor people or unemployed (perhaps not by choice) people in our state without insurance. 

*A House Bill for Group homes -not just adult care homes-can benefit from $40 million set aside last summer to provide financial stability to facilities that provide personal care services for residents who no longer qualify for Medicaid coverage. ~ Seriously only $40 million. Do you have any idea how many people are in the group? I would bet more than $40 million worth.
*House bill let voters decide whether to place in the STATE constitution state's right-to-work status meaning union membership can't be a requirement for employment. Other amendments would make clear collective bargaining between local or state governments and unions is illegal and would affirm the right to workers to vote by secret ballot to determine whether they want union representation. House speaker Thom Tillis R-and Senate leader Phil Berger R- have said they are interested in a right-to-work amendment. ~ What all this means is that Unions will be in the past and in a right-to-work state which we are in now you can be terminated for no reason what so ever now if they put this in our constitution there is no way out. Don't screw with our NC Constitution!
*Amendment House bill would let voters decide whether private property condemnation by State or Local governments should be barred except for a "public use", such as highways or government buildings. ~ Again this should not be put in our NC constitution. Just keep laws, laws. This will cause our voting ballots to be as long as Florida's was. I for one am not interested in that!
*Sen. Jerry Tillman R, filed his own constitutional amendment that would make the superintendent of public instruction an appointed position, rather than the current elected position.~ This is not a good idea on so many levels. Again Don't Screw With Our NC Constitution!
*Tillis R, is the primary sponsor of a bill that would amend the state constitution to limit the time a speaker or Senate leader can serve in the post to four years. Here we go again another amendment. As my wife Kathy says let's not go hunting rabbits with an elephant gun.
*Tillis R, is the primary sponsor of a bipartison bill that would again seek to give $50,000 to the living victims of NC previous forced sterilization program.~Well what do you know a yay thing.
*Rep. Leo Daughtry R, would raise the mandatory retirement age for judges from 72 to 75.~Seriously! 
*Some House Republicans are again seeking to allow concealed weapon permit holders to bring their guns into restaurants where alcohol is served unless there's a notice prohibiting them from doing so. The bill would also exempt from public records laws the information collected by local sheriffs from people with concealed handgun permits.~ This sounds like a great idea. Drinking and guns don't mix.
*Sen Stan Bingham R, would revoke the driver's license of a motorist who passes a stopped school bus that's picking or dropping off passengers for as long as three years if the action results in fatally striking someone.~Another YaY!
*House members filed a bill creating new or tougher penalties for people who make methamphetamine or who possess a key ingredient in making meth after they've already been convicted  previously of making meth.~That makes three Yays!
*http://www.wral.com/bills-filed-as-nc-legislature-begins-in-earnest/12045353/

*Mandatory Voter ID: The North Carolinians most likely to lack photo ID are the elderly, disabled, and/or of color. Voter fraud is not a significant problem and what fraud there is mostly concerns absentee ballots.
*Education Reform: In the area of public schools. Look for the introduction of vouchers for private and religious schools, further expand charter schools, and the marginalization of teachers.
*More Destructive attacks on the environment: The 2013 boss has already questioned climate change and taken action to overrule modest proposed fracking guidelines.
*The States top sex policy enforcer House Majority leader Paul Stam R will introduce new anti-abortion rights bills and will likely figure out a way to target the LGBT community.
*https://www.facebook.com/ncpolicywatch

ART POPE, Head of Roses and Maxway. He inherited position from Daddy. Fan of rightwing philosophers. Uses store profits to fund his huge political ambitions.  His stores provide low wages for his employees. Cheap foreign goods to you. Big profits for the Pope family.  The Art Pope network spends $40 million on big campaign donations and on rightwing groups like The Civitas Institute, John Locke Foundations and American's for Prosperity (he heads AFP with the Koch Brothers).  Pope allies in the legislature pushes bills for the 1% not you. He and his family along with other groups give big bucks to get Republicans elected in order to:  Cuts taxes for the rich. Reduces health care for women, kids. Raise interest charges on loans. Cut early voting. Attack public campaign financing so money supporters like Pope call the shots. Gut environmental regulations. Attack gays and lesbians not poverty. Lay off thousands of teachers.
*This was a flier handed out by the Democracy North Carolina Of By and For the People.

There you have it. Take a moment or so to allow yourself to absorb all this information. I for one believe that the bills that contain constitutional amendments should be stricken from this list. Because this, in my opinion and the opinion of others, is a tactic to prolong polling times. As was done in Florida the last election cycle. There were 3 bills that I agree should happen but there are more bills that are bad for this state in my opinion and as you read above. As one of thousands in this State of NC I'am  going to go Forward Together and Not One Step Back! Call your representatives. Speak out loud and proud. This is serious stuff people!

Copy and paste this link to your browser: http://www.wral.com/news/video/12086484/#/vid12086484

I tried to insert the video but it is too long. It is the Rev. Dr. William Barber II giving his speech at todays rally/march. It is well worth the listen.



These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

WHAT REALLY MAKES A MARRIAGE?

To me what really makes a marriage is Love, Commitment, Communication, and Respect for one another that to me is what makes a marriage.From the time I was 8 years old I was raised in a One Man, One Woman marriage and just let me say that none of those elements, in my opinion were there. Sure there were times when the house was quiet but most of the time it was loud with screaming or should I say communication from my step father. Mom and I had an assortment of verbal, emotional and physical abuse from this man. The lack of commitment and respect for my Mom was shown by him in the way of infidelity . In fact, there were many times that Mom would load me in her car and we would go on a search of the bars and clubs to find this "man" and we would find him alright. We would find this "man" heading into a hotel room with women under each arm. I remember looking on my Mother's face and seeing the hurt and pain in her eyes.

Now in all fairness because I believe in fairness he was a heavy drinker at that time. He did get sober and things around the house did get better for about 3 or 4 years off and on. Then gradually things got back to the verbal, emotional, physical abuse. They live in a beautiful home. People in town call it the white house on the hill. It is my Mom's dream home and it is a beautiful home. The outside looks great the inside does to but what goes on inside does not. I finally moved away from my hometown and began thinking about my past with this family of ours. I wrote my Mom a letter about it and I honestly thought we could talk things out and I could understand more of why she stayed in this "marriage" of hers. Well we have been estranged it will be 4 years in June.

The reason I am sharing all this with you is because each and every time that I would get into a relationship my past with this One Man, One Woman Marriage would bite me on the ass. In every relationship I had I was verbally abusive because that is what I was raised with. I lost so many good relationships because of this.

Now to contrast with the One Man, One Woman Marriage I met and married a woman so now we have a One Woman, One Woman Marriage. Our marriage is one of Love, Commitment, Communication and Respect for one another. The woman I married is someone that has had to endure alot of my baggage that I brought into our relationship. The stipulation was that we go to couples therapy to try and figure out if we could make this relationship work. Well it has been 11 years in May since we have been together. I had to unlearn all my behavior patterns that I brought into this relationship but the point is that it was worth it to me. 

I know alot of you are probably thinking that it is the people that make a marriage and that is exactly my point of this blog.  One Man, One Woman Marriage is NOT what makes a marriage.  What really makes a marriage is TWO people that Love eachother, that are Committed to eachother, that Communicate with eachother and that Respect eachother. That is what makes a marriage not what sex they are.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

OH THOSE SOUTHERN SAYINGS

Being that I was born and raised in the South  I have many Southernisms. I am going to share a few with you. Sometimes I don't even realize that I am saying one it just comes so naturally to me. I reckin that is the way it works for some folk. My family of origin also originate from the South so I have picked  up some of their sayings as well over the years. We girls from the South are called GRITS = GIRLS RAISED IN THE SOUTH. I am definitely one of them. In fact, once my Mom gave me a tee shirt that read GRITS Girls Raised In The South. I don't know where it is now but I use to wear it all the time. One of the Southernisms that I use all the time is Well shut my mouth and eat cornbread. If I haven't seen someone in a while I will say to them Aren't you a sight for sore eyes. If 2 things or 2 people go well together I will say you are like Two peas in a pod. My use of reckin is certainly in abundance along with Lordy Pete. Also there is an abundance of Good Ole Boys where I come from.  I save that phrase to reference the red necks and bigots that don't like LGBT folks or people of color. When it rains really hard I always say It's rainin cats and dogs out there I wonder if I will know any of them. Then there are times when I am either leaving somewhere, going somewhere or even going to do something  it is always I'am fittin {fixin}to...

I remember when I was younger going to church with my Grandma , God rest her soul, and she and I would sit on the back pew and she would always say she's as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs, talking about a woman of ill repute who would come and sit down across from us. I honestly think Grandma wanted to sit in the back row so she could watch everyone come in the door. She was always saying something about someone but in a nice soft whispering Southern way of course. Sometimes it would be He ain't the smartest tool in the shed but he is a good man or if someone wasn't a very nice person she would say God bless her, after her comment. It was always interesting every time we went to church together. It was about a block  from her house to the church house and we would walk together holding hands. She would wear her Sunday best along with a pill box hat and purse to match. There were times when Granddad would come with us. Now this made for some fun times because Granddad would always fall asleep and start to snore. Grandma would always lean over to him and whisper Lawd Smitty if  you don't stop snorin the Lord is goin come down and bop you on the head. One thing Grandma use to always say is God willing and the creek don't rise. Now I say that along with, like my Grandma use to say....When Grandma use to send me to the neighborhood short stop, for those of you that don't know what that is it is a local convenient store, she would say to me I want you back here in two shakes of a lambs tail. Granddad would always say to me don't go off half cocked because I would always fly off without knowing the whole story of something. Grandad would make a mean red-eyed gravy for breakfast or dinner. There was never a dull moment growing up with Grandparents like the ones I had. I miss them terribly. Grandma's biggest saying was Live and learn; die and forget it all. This is another saying from her that I use alot.

When my wife Kathy and I met she would always laugh at certain things that I would say. Of course, there were times that she would just look at me in confusion after one of my Southernisms.   One thing that I sometimes say before a sentence is I do declare...I remember when I took Kathy to my hometown I said to her Let me show you my Old stomping grounds. After our first potluck we had while we were dating I said to everyone as they were leaving Ya'll come back now ya hear. When I shut the door and turned around to look at Kathy she had that look on her face like really you just said that. I answered her look by saying I know I should have used the plural All Ya'll. When Kathy asks me where something is I will say It's over yonder or if she is driving and I am giving her directions I will say to her It's down the road a piece.

It never fails that when me and my family of origin get together it seems that our conversations always come around to beans and farts. There is no shame in talking about bodily functions amongst people of like minds. Now at this point Kathy always rolls her eyes and steps out of the room. Now I don't know if this is a Southern Thang or not but it is my family thang that's for sure. My aunt Janet, God rest her soul, was the biggest bean and fart talker that we had. All of us can sit around for hours laughing until we are crying talking about this topic.

Now I am going to end this blog by saying we Southerners are a rare breed. We have what is called Southern hospitality we also have what is known as the whisper statements.  If you don't know what whisper statements are get into a conversation with a Southerner and you will find out.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.

LIFE AND TIMES WITH OUR CRITTERS

My wife Kathy and I have an abundance of critters or should I say they have us because as everyone who has pets know we do belong to them not the other way around. We have 2 dogs Buddy and Nanalu, 2 cats Roman and Carlos and 2 birds Mojo and Lasko. We also have an outside feral cat we named Lucy. This home of ours is never boring that is for sure. Buddy and Nanalu keep us very entertained. Roman and Carlos are bit older so they pretty much sleep, purr and eat alot. Mojo and Lasko our keets do alot of chirping and playing so it is nice to watch them interact.  Each one of our critters has their own personalities and I am going to share a little of that with you.

Let's begin with our keets Mojo and Lasko. Mojo is a beautiful shade of green and some yellow with black tail feathers and wings. Lasko is bright yellow with white tail feathers and wings. I named Mojo because I felt a certain allure to him and he seemed very active when we got him. Kathy named Lasko because the name contains hard  Consonants. We have had Mojo a bit longer than Lasko. Once we got Lasko our little Keet family was complete. They seem to have a certain chemistry these two. They chirp to eachother alot or they just chirp together. Lasko is the acrobat that is for sure. He spins around on every single perch that they have in their cage. It is so funny to watch. Also we have what we call the blue cave. It is a soft hand muffle looking thing that is in the corner top of the cage. That is where Lasko spends some of the cold nights sleeping. No other keet has ever been in it. Both keets gather up the liter pellets that we have at the bottom of their cage and put it in their drinking water. Lasko is the one that started that and Mojo just followed right in. Most of the time the two keets Mojo and Lasko sleep together on the blue and white swing that we have in the cage. Once we cover it they go right up to the swing together and there they are when we uncover them in the morning. It is so cute to see them together playing and chirping together.

Now let's talk about the other boys our cats Roman and Carlos. We call them our big yellow boys because that is what they are big and yellow and boys. These two are liter mates and they're 13 years old. Like I said above they mostly eat, purr and sleep atleast now that is what they do but when they were younger they did alot of playing together. I remember when I bought them one of those round circle shaped plastic toys that had cat nip cardboard in the center of it that you put on the floor with a little white ping pong type ball that went round and round the circle. Ramon loved that thing. He use to take his paw and make the ball go round and round and try to catch it with his mouth but the ball would not come out. It was fun to watch. Now Carlos would mostly just sit and watch Ramon make a fool of himself atleast that is what it looked like Carlos was thinking as he sat there. Then Carlos would get bored and walk away while Ramon was still playing. I remember when Kathy first brought them over here when we were moving in together..Ramon would sit in the bathroom sink and watch as we moved stuff in. I finally built a cat run off the small bedroom window out back so that the cats could go outside and get some fresh air and be safe at the same time. Carlos is the only one that goes out there. We had to get a doggie door because our cats are too big for a regular cat door. It was fun teaching them to go in and out of the cat-dog door. I used treats to train them and Carlos was all about it but not so much Ramon. Ramon has been out there a few times just not as much as Carlos. Carlos has a perch with a dog bed on top that he lays on outside of the window of the cat run. He will stay there for hours and watch the outside world from that perch. Ramon has become a loud meower here lately. He walks around the whole house with his loud meow which usually means that he is hungry. Carlos has taken to sitting up on the kitchen table looking out at the birds on the feeders. He makes this little grunting noise as he watches them. Carlos and Buddy have this playful thing that they do now where Buddy will nudge Carlos with his nose on his side and Carlos will swipe Buddy with his paw and no claws. It is funny to watch. Both cats will spoon on Mutti's bed sometimes while they sleep. Both of them love eachother very much. Brothers til the end. Carlos is on the left and Ramon is on the right. The cat run is underneath.

Now this brings us to our doggies Buddy and Nanalu. Buddy and Nanalu both are rescues. Buddy came to us on Christmas morning 2 years ago. I saw him hanging around the neighborhood so I decided that I would make a bed for him on our sheltered front porch and I gave him food and water. Christmas morning we came out on the porch and there he was laying in the bed and shivering.  I gradually made my way over to him and offered him some more food. Then he slowly licked my hand then Kathy came over and the same thing happened. That is when we took him in and our lives have been blessed every since. Our vet said he looked like he was six months old at the time so we had him clipped and chipped. Boy was it rocky in the beginning. It seems that our new friend Buddy was a hunter. When he would go outside sometimes he would kill birds and the field mice which I didn't mind the field mice as much as I did the birds. We had a nest of baby wren's on our back porch under the overhang. Buddy got into the nest and killed the little wren's. I was furious with him. Also there was the time that Buddy killed a rabbit that wondered into our fenced in backyard. I was livid so Kathy had to take Buddy to our friends Ann and Kathy's house for a while until I calmed down. It took me some time before I realized that with him being on his own for so long that is how he got his food. I am a processor and sometimes it takes some time to process things even the simplest of things and of course Kathy helped me to see things differently also.  He is a playing and running fool. We use to take him to the dog park but he started to get a bit aggressive with the other dogs so we stopped taking him. It's a good thing that we have a fenced in backyard for him to run in. We also have a neighbor that when he lets his dog out both of them run down the fence together she on the outside and Buddy on the inside barking and running. There are times that Kathy or I will play what we call stomp and run with Buddy. This is where we stomp on the ground and Buddy will run all around the yard and then return to us and we stomp again and it all starts over and over again. Kathy made the mistake of allowing the Budster to sleep on our bed with us and that is what he does every night right between us and he hogs the bed. Every morning when I wake up I am almost off the bed seriously this is so true. In the mornings and afternoons Budster will go upstairs to the bonus room and nap on the couch or hangout with Kathy while she writes or watches movies. It was Kathy's study and her space it still is just not as much.  We now call it the Boy Cave because he spends alot of his days up there. Buddy pretty much is the "man" of the house and our protector. He knows where everyone is at every moment and he does keep tabs on us he also keeps tabs on what is going on outside. Alot of the time he looks out the window upstairs in the bonus room it is his tower where he can look and see everything going on in our neighborhood. He will come running down from upstairs if he sees or hears anything then out the doggie door he goes barking and running. Buddy came to us about a year before we put Lucky Lu down. She was our old girl of 14 years. She became really sick and it was time to let her go. It was rough but you just have to do whats best for them from a loving place in your heart and that is what we did. We then just had Buddy and Torrie our other old girl. They both played together until Torrie got to be to old to play. The top photo is Lucky Lu the bottom photo is Torrie.

Enter Nanalu. She came to us from our next door neighbors. Our neighbor rescued Nanalu from her cousin who was abusing her. She was about 7 weeks old at the time we got her. We now have had her about 8 weeks. Shortly after getting Nanalu we put our Torrie girl down. She became really sick and she was snapping at Nanalu we were worried that she would hurt her. When we took Torrie to the vet he said that with her snapping at the puppy it means that she is not feeling good. Because Torrie was always good with other dogs and people we had the feeling that the end was near. She was the most gentle dog that I ever knew or that I had ever had. We already knew that she had cancer for a while now and the vet said that she was in the beginning stages of kidney failure. She could barely stand up on her hind legs. Once again it took me overnight to process and to become at peace with this decision. Now Lucky lu and Torrie are together at Rainbow Bridge running, jumping, playing and barking together. Just as our home is full of playing, running, barking, snarling and laughter from us when we watch Buddy and Nanalu together.   Nanalu is following Buddy's lead about the ins and outs of how things work around here. It is fun to watch these two interact with eachother. Nanalu is staking her place in this family that is for sure. I bought some stairs one day at the store and placed them at the foot of our bed and wouldn't you know it Nanalu learned how to climb up them and onto our bed so now we have two dogs in our bed at night. Buddy still sleeps between us and Nanalu sleeps at the foot of our bed. It was fun to watch Buddy teach her how to go out the doggie door. She would watch him go out and then watch him  come back in. Finally she did the same thing. Of course the doggie door was a bit of a lift up for her but she managed it and has been managing ever since. Nanalu makes funny grunting noises when she sleeps or if you move her when she is on the couch sleeping. The same is true when she yawns she lets out a big ole yelp. It really does amuse us. She does have her own personality. She and our cat Ramon have a game that they play together just as Buddy and Carlos do only with Nanalu and Ramon it is a playful jaw open around Ramon's neck by Nanalu and he loves it...I think it confuses Nanalu. It is fun to watch Nanalu and Buddy play tug of war with a piece of cloth that we give them. Of course Nanalu usually sneaks in and takes one of my socks out of the bathroom. She does this while I am in the shower. When I get out of the shower I notice my sock missing and the door slight ajar. Then I find her up on the bed with my sock or outside in the backyard with my sock playing tug of war with the Budster. Sometimes I even try to nab her with the sock as she is making an escape through the doggie door. There are times when she will come into the bathroom after I get out of the shower and she licks the water off my legs. Hahaha..Kathy tells me she does the same thing with her. It is really funny when both Buddy and Nanalu do it...These critters of ours. Everytime Kathy opens the dishwasher Nanalu comes a running. We call her our prewash girl. She licks off the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Buddy use to do it then he handed it off to Nanalu. Sometimes both of them will prewash them together. There was a time when Nanalu was having a hard time getting up the stairs to the bonus room. But once again she figured it out and now she and Buddy will come running down the stairs and it sounds like thunder and then out the doggie door they go usually Nanalu follows Buddy out the door. When we first got Nanalu we had to take her outside to potty train her and the Budster would follow us out there and stand guard by the back door while she did her potty. I actually liked that he did that it gave me a sense of security. Oh our home is full of love and laughter along with snarling and playing. 

A fairly new addition is our outside feral cat we call Lucy. She is a pretty cat with a obviously cut off tail. Kathy is the cat expert in our house so she is sure that she is a female cat. Kathy named her Lucy I wanted to name her Calico or Callie or well Lucy works. I found out yesterday the history of Lucy by one of our neighbors up the street. He said that Lucy was abandoned by one of our neighbors that lived 2 doors up from us. It seems they left in the middle of the night and didn't take Lucy or her buddy another cat with them. The other cat died and the man called the SPCA to come get it and when they got here Lucy took off and has been on her own since then that was 2 years ago. I find it peculiar that I haven't seen her around until just a few months ago when I began feeding her outside. We have taken it nice and easy me and Lucy. She is getting use to me now. She is beginning to allow me to come close to her when feeding her. I haven't been able to pet her yet but atleast she doesn't run from me anymore when I approach her to feed and water her. Now I have put a cat bed on our sheltered front porch and she has been coming up there and laying in it. I also moved her food and water dishes up there for her. She has laid up on our porch before on a seat cushion but with this cold weather I wanted her to be warmer and feel safer. I am glad that it seems to be working out for us both.

One thing is for sure there is never a dull moment with all of our critters around. Our home is always busy. We are blessed to have the array of critters that we have. We are all truly blessed to have found eachother and live in harmony together. Kathy, Buddy, Me and Nanalu. You can hardly see her in my arms.

These are my thoughts and feelings from Jillsville.